Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Unknown hero
He walked a path with broken ground,
A silent storm, no cheering sound.
His head was troubled, heart worn thin,
He bore the weight they carried in.
Gave all his light when skies turned grey,
He'd bleed for peace, then walk away.
But no one saw the cracks within,
He fought for them, forgot for him.
They saw the fire, they saw the flame,
But never once asked for his name.
He stood so tall, though pain had crowned,
A soul once lost but now he's found.
In every fight, in every hymn—
They didn’t know... but they saw him.
He mended hearts, but none saw his,
Behind his smile, a deep abyss.
He held the line while breaking down,
A shadow king without a crown.
The echoes rang through silent halls,
He'd rise again through every fall.
Not for reward, not for acclaim—
But still, they whispered out his name.
If he could speak the words unsaid,
He'd tell you why he forged ahead.
Not for himself, not to be king—
But for the light that hope can bring.
They saw the fire, they saw the flame,
But never once asked for his name.
He stood so tall, though pain had crowned,
A soul once lost but now he's found.
In every fight, in every hymn—
They didn’t know... but they saw him.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
3 weeks ago
The anonymity...
of the man described, makes this piece understandable.
He could be anyone in any era, in any place, at any time. The human
condition is certifiable insanity when the chips are down; so to speak. I like this one! I heard the story from men who fought in battle, veterans from far-flung wars in different times, but the message is the same.
He walked a path with broken ground,
A silent storm, no cheering sound.
His head was troubled, heart worn thin,
He bore the weight they carried in.
Gave all his light when skies turned grey,
He'd bleed for peace, then walk away.
But no one saw the cracks within,
He fought for them, forgot for him.
This could have been the whole poem.
Nicely done, ~ Geezer.
.
kowque
3 weeks ago
This made me sad
I think you captured
The feeling of a doomed Hero
Who still kept going.
Amazing piece
Punkyfrewster
2 weeks 5 days ago
Anna,
As the daughter of a Vietnam vet, I particularly appreciate the unknown soldier of your poem.