unrelenting horizon

The sheets loosen,
brittle with yesterday’s sweat,
my limbs heavy
with the unremembered struggle

of another dream slipping into daylight.

The tide surges again— not the sea,
but the pull of routine, a weight
pressing against the ribs.
The road throbs under hurried feet,
a chorus of engines swallowing dawn’s breath.
We rise, we move, we forget
what it was we were chasing.

Beneath the pale flare of a morning too sharp,
the sun spares nothing, nor does it wait.
It only reveals— the quiet surrender,
the unbroken loop, the ceaseless chase,
the unspoken cost.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

Comments

neopoet

3 weeks 5 days ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "unrelenting horizon" paints a vivid picture of the struggle between the demands of routine and the desire for something more. The imagery of the sheets, heavy limbs, and the unremembered dream slipping into daylight effectively conveys a sense of weariness and repetition. The comparison of the tide to the pull of routine adds depth to the poem, highlighting the relentless nature of daily life. The use of sensory details like the throbbing road and the chorus of engines helps to create a sense of urgency and busyness.

The poem effectively captures the feeling of being caught in a cycle of monotony and the longing for something beyond the daily grind. The imagery of the sun sparing nothing and revealing the quiet surrender, unbroken loop, and ceaseless chase adds a layer of resignation to the poem. Overall, the poem conveys a sense of resignation and introspection in the face of life's unrelenting demands.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Frederick Kesner

3 weeks 5 days ago

good to know the s.o.p.

Lavender

3 weeks 4 days ago

unrelenting horizon

Hello, CB,
The heaviness here is so well described - like sliding on hefty boots as soon as you wake up in the morning. And the routine of it all, well done.
I've always loved using "un" words - to me they add additional depth and thought. It causes the reader to give just that little extra-something to relate and discover the meaning in a poem. What a fantastic final line.
Thank you!
L