scribbler

Aug 17, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

UNSAID

As we sit at a little table
in a mid-priced restaurant
with noise and diners all around
we hardly say a thing

Perhaps others glance at us
misreading the sight they behold
thinking how sad it must be
to become, like us, quiet and old

But we converse in ways unheard
shrugged shoulder, eyes rolled to above
seldom needing any word
to convey our thoughts and love

About This Poem

Last Few Words: An experiment in writing a poem which morphs from free verse to rhyming................stan

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Ian

I guess this is a type of free verse but I had 1st stanza with no rhyme, 2nd with two lines rhyme and third with abab rhyme........guess another stanza would require aabb rhyme lol. I know what you mean by different languages between generations. Most of the folks now in early adulthood assume Everybody knows tecnical and computer terms ...Guess we could call this style poetry morphing form lol....................stan

Roscoe Lane

13 years 11 months ago

Stan,

Stan your poem tells how millions of people our age live together, after years of living side by side emotionally as well as physically. Who needs words, just knowing someone special is there is enough. Regards Roscoe..

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Roscoe

Silence can indeed be golden . thanks for stopping by.............stan

loved

13 years 11 months ago

Creativity at its best

More will write

Freer verse

We all came with our own minds
Why be only followers?

But Neopoet is going slow
As it does grow
Older poets are read
Yes
But none know.

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi loved

Yes, things are going a bit slow here. I expect it might be schools starting back + summer doldrums. Thanks for dropping by..........stan

loved

13 years 11 months ago

thanks stan

u haven't dropped a shell
in my poetic well

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

Hi Rose

You know when WE were young we didn't possess it either lol. One of the very few advantages of becoming decrepit...............stan

Kailashana2

13 years 11 months ago

Perhaps you and your wife

Perhaps you and your wife keep silent because you keep forgetting what you want to say. And the eye roll just means you need eye drops and the shrugged shoulders is arthritis.

I like this poem.

p.s. ;-) :-) :;-0

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Anna

There are times when my silence is a result of not being able to get a word in edgewise lol. Thanks for visiting.............stan

Kailashana2

13 years 11 months ago

Lol.

Better than putting your foot in your mouth. ;-)

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hey!

A nice clean foot covered with ketchup has become a staple in my diet...................stan

Eduardo Cruz

13 years 11 months ago

Hey Stan,

this is it exactly, how it becomes when you know each other so well. It is a secret language.
I have this with my lady, when we going to some function or another we speak to everyone else, But we just raise and eyebrow or widen our eyes or some simple jesture that we only understand. You have nailed it with this one.
Eddie.

scribbler

13 years 11 months ago

hi Eddie

It is exactly such nonverbal communication which is hard to duplicate in writing. Thank you for coming by..........stan