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Feb 05, 2026
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Unspeckle thine eyes
As apple dropped on speckled eye,
Blood stained tears, ran rivers dry.
With scorching flames, that travel far,
To ravish homes, with molten tar.
But none so buried in the sand,
Had seen destruction, by evil's hands.
Instead they blamed the wind and rain,
Called nature out, as agressor again.
And in swallowing twisted tale,
Ignorance veiled greed's fateful fail.
Leaving humanity hanging off a cliff,
As power looks on, staunchly stiff.
But hark a whimper of protest,
At war and sorrow, that's grotesque.
Fear not minions, fascism's returning.
To crush rebellion, leaving us burning.
But I saw a watcher, an aura of light,
Witness to struggle, fatality's crown.
Not able to block the choices,
He's left just to frown.
Be stuck in your vices,
Ignore the looming crisis
And don't dare trust your eyes,
Block out the screams and cries.
Eat the poison, be stuck in the fright,
Or sign the petition, and flee from the night.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a vivid and urgent meditation on destruction, denial, and the sociopolitical forces that perpetuate suffering. The imagery is often striking—“apple dropped on speckled eye,” “blood stained tears,” and “molten tar”—which effectively conveys violence and devastation. However, some lines could benefit from clearer syntax and more precise diction to enhance impact and readability.
Several grammatical issues distract from the poem’s message. For example, “none so buried in the sand, / Had saw destruction” should be corrected to “had seen destruction” for grammatical accuracy. Similarly, “called nature out, as agresser again” contains a misspelling (“aggressor”) and an awkward phrase; revising to “called nature out as aggressor again” would improve flow.
The poem’s rhyme scheme is mostly consistent but occasionally falters, which can disrupt rhythm. For instance, the line ending with “cliff.” followed by “stiff.” is effective, but the preceding line’s comma before the period is a punctuation error that should be corrected.
Thematically, the poem oscillates between metaphorical and literal language, which sometimes muddles clarity. Phrases like “fear not minions, fascism’s returning” feel abrupt and could be integrated more smoothly to maintain tone and coherence. The final stanza offers a stark choice between complacency and action, but the phrasing “eat the poison, be stuck in the fright” might be strengthened by more concrete imagery or metaphor.
Overall, refining grammatical errors, tightening diction, and smoothing transitions between ideas would amplify the poem’s emotional and intellectual resonance. Consider focusing on consistent voice and clearer narrative progression to better engage readers with the urgent themes presented.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
Speckled eye?...
How does one unspeckle an eye? In order to understand about speckled eyes, I went and looked it up. The meaning of speckled eyes is: eyes that contain flecks of different colors throughout the iris.
I would make the lines: "To ravish, [one i] homes [with] molten tar.
Had [seen] by evil's hands - Tenses... and apostrophe in [evil's] hand.
Spelling of [aggressor]
hanging [from] a cliff
[Not able] to block [the] choices
He's left [with] just [a] frown
And don't dare [to] trust your eyes...
Block out the screams and cries.
Just a few things to look at and maybe readjust. ~ Geez.
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Tigger Kaz
2 months 2 weeks ago
Biblical reference
Unspeckle is in reference to the biblical reference of removing the speckle from your own eyes.
So as to have more clarity.
Geezer
2 months 2 weeks ago
In that context...
the phrase uttered would surely refer to Matthew 7:3-5.
My guess is that it would be a biblical scholar or someone who had just read those chapters of Matthew. However, I am not averse to using outdated terminology myself and have been known to make up a word or phrase; so, thank you for keeping the WORD alive. Speckle... Nice edit, BTW. ~ Geez.
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