Lavender

Jun 24, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Unspoken

I found a letter on the ground,
most precious note I ever found.

And when I read its lovely theme,
no other lovely thought could seem

to touch the world as this fine note
which finely penned what someone wrote

to his lost love, his one and only
soulmate, alone, lost and lonely.

Two lovers, separate and denied
a lovers' love, husband and bride

who claimed to pledge til death do part,
yet, no claim prospered, no pledge of heart

came to be, on way to church and steeple
in front of church and church bound people

she lost her life, a tragic moment,
a lifeless, tragic, denied bestowment.

And when the crowds had disappeared
as crowds do when stunned crowds are cleared,

there lay this letter from one, now broken -
his letter, his heart, his vows unspoken.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Kristen H.

1 year 3 months ago

Oh my...

How beautiful... this was a lovely read! Well done!

Lavender

1 year 3 months ago

Hello, Kristen,

Thank you for your very kind words!
L

Geezer

1 year 3 months ago

Yes...

it rolls off the tongue easily and the story is romantic, yet tragic. ~ Geez.
.

Lavender

1 year 3 months ago

I recall a true story similar to this in the past - a bride (or perhaps it was the groom?) tragically dying on her way to her own wedding. Not sure why it came to mind, but it surfaced in a poem.
Thank you for reading!
L

Rula

1 year 3 months ago

Hello dear Lavender

A poignant writing that captures the a lost love and the enduring power of the unspoken vows.
As a suggestion, I thought you might like to capitalize the beginning of each line .
I also find the repition of the word lovely a bit unnecessary. May be replacing one with heartfelt?
Just suggestion as you know that you are absolutely free to take or leave.
I have already enjoyed it

Lavender

1 year 3 months ago

Hello, Rula,

I tried to use a word or two from the first line in each couplet also in the second line. It may be a bit too much, though. I will think over your wonderful suggestions!
Thank you so much!
Lx

Leslie

1 year 3 months ago

L

Very sad and very well written. Lovely in it's misery. I enjoyed this as usual!

Lavender

1 year 3 months ago

Hello, Leslie,

Not certain where this one came from, but it surfaced, just the same.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L

Lavender

1 year 3 months ago

Hello, Mark,

I believe this came together from recalling a similar sad scenario I read about in the past.
Thank you so much for reading!
L

Ruby Lord

1 year 2 months ago

This was really good, it

This was really good, it reminded me of one of those songs that have a wonderful joyous tune but really sad lyrics. A testament to you talents in writing about the contradictions of life and death. Well done, Ruby :) xx

Lavender

1 year 2 months ago

Hi, Ruby,

Not certain where this one came from - I seemed to recall the heartbreaking scenario and it took shape. Thank you for reading and commenting. So good to see you again!
L

Words Ablaze

1 year 2 months ago

Chilling. Death didn't even

Chilling. Death didn't even give them a chance to vow it would do them apart.

Lavender

1 year 2 months ago

Hello!

Yes... I seem to recall a real situation similar to this.
Thank you for reading! I'm grateful for your comments.
L