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Feb 06, 2026
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Unsure why anitageorge3547 at gmail dot com...
gets her jollies electronically threatening me,
finding this wordsmith feeling a bit scared,
which subsequent lines of poetry
lack absolute zero relevance
to said title,
but my mind functions in quirky ways.
The following matter never didst amuse
for no logical rhyme or reason,
nor handy dandy blue's clues
why thee above named female
bombards me with scare tactics,
yours truly neither
endorses nor eschews
additionally I would dislike
being fawned over
analogous to gurus
which self anointed
cue Maharishi Mahesh Yogi,
who purportedly did infuse
the Beatles with
transcendental meditation,
a discipline I used to practice
and did experience peace
of body, mind, and spirit
long before said founder of TM
passed away on February 5, 2008,
at his home in Vlodrop,
Netherlands, at age 91
and shortly thereafter witnessed
a mob of kangaroos
wearing Dutchman's breeches
jumping in close proximity
to said site where
splinter factions claimed
revered sage to be their holy muse
yet to me, his claimed
super powers news
I took with a grain of salt
and no longer pursues
daily regimen sitting
with outstretched feet,
cuz no way no how
can these legs of mine
fold into the Lotus position,
which inflexibility I refuse
to test, but would rather subject
opposable digit to thumbscrews
though most other
Tom, Dick or Harry
would favor less tortuous views.
Please pardon thee above yickety yak
anyway with a "Wickedy wack"
(often spelled wiggity-wack, -
a 1990s slang term
meaning extremely uncool,
lame, bad, or fake,
often used to describe
something of very low quality),
I got way off track
but all joking aside -
bow down at mine feet,
yepper me with gnarly toenails,
cuz yours truly no quack
but an honest to doggone duck
unlike by dark hued parents,
I plainly appear nonblack
nevertheless seek
to be included
among people of color
because many possess
a knick knack
paddywhack give your dog a bone
(linkedin to a phrase
from the19th-century
British nursery rhyme
"This Old Man",
primarily used to teach
counting to ten)
but now miniature computers
and/or cell phones
made obsolete that once catchy hack
and learning courtesy
outdated rhymes,
whose meaning long since lost,
and laughable and
to be more exact
why tax the noggin unnecessarily
unless alone in the wilderness,
and must needs
rely on basic math
to calculate the most
ideal site to bivouac
especially when rays
of sunlight dawn,
consisting of particles
called photons alas and alack.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem exhibits a stream-of-consciousness style that meanders through various topics, from electronic threats to transcendental meditation, nursery rhymes, and racial identity. The free-flowing structure and conversational tone create a sense of candidness and personal reflection. However, this approach also results in a lack of clear focus and cohesion, which may challenge readers trying to grasp the poem’s central message or emotional core.
The poem’s title suggests a specific conflict or tension ("anitageorge3547 at gmail dot com..."), but the poem quickly diverges into unrelated subjects. While the speaker acknowledges this disconnection ("my mind functions in quirky ways"), the absence of a unifying thread weakens the overall impact. Consider tightening the thematic scope or using clearer transitions to guide readers through the shifts in topic.
The language is often informal and colloquial, which can be effective in conveying personality but sometimes undermines the poem’s seriousness or poetic resonance. Phrases like “yepper me with gnarly toenails” and “no quack but an honest to doggone duck” add humor and idiosyncrasy, but their meaning and relevance are not always clear, potentially distracting from the poem’s substance.
The poem’s references—such as to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the Beatles, and “This Old Man”—offer cultural touchstones that enrich the text but also require some background knowledge. These allusions could be more tightly integrated to enhance thematic depth rather than feeling like asides.
The exploration of identity, particularly the speaker’s desire to be included “among people of color” despite “plainly appear[ing] nonblack,” is a compelling thread that could be developed further. This section hints at complex issues of race, belonging, and self-perception but is somewhat obscured by the poem’s digressive style.
In terms of form, the poem’s irregular line breaks and lack of punctuation contribute to its conversational rhythm but occasionally impede clarity. Introducing more deliberate lineation and punctuation might help emphasize key ideas and improve readability.
Overall, focusing the poem’s thematic concerns, refining its structure, and clarifying its language would strengthen its emotional and intellectual impact. The poem’s candid voice and willingness to tackle diverse subjects are promising, but a more disciplined approach could help these elements resonate more powerfully.
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