Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

This poem is part of the contest:

2025 Neopoet Anthology Front Page Contest

(Read More...)

Until I acquire an android washerwoman...

Until I acquire an android washerwoman...

which day will dawn
when the cows come home to roost
and among the animal house
will dwell owner of the menagerie
an old doddering historian
prone to express himself
with tearful sentimentality re: maudlin,
especially when inebriated
remembering the halcyon days of yore
as described in the quran
(the Islamic sacred book,
believed to be the word of God
as dictated to Muhammad
by the archangel Gabriel
and written down in Arabic
which yours truly forced to memorize
in addition to tending to drudgery
like poor Cinderella
by de facto default
since the wife won't
accept the assigned role
of laundress and flat out refused
to wash and dry clothes of mine
(though she willingly steeps coffee
and cooks me meals for her hubby, -
(who ofttimes he lived
within a different cubby)
here on the premises
of Highland Manor Apartments)
thus two hampers
(for soiled clothes)
mostly dirty and musty
thrift store item relegated
to be cleaned after being worn
and a small closet jammed
(analogous to buttered peanuts)
packed up every
square inch of air space
with additional mountain
soiled clothes of hers
attests to how far behind
keeping up appearance
of house chores -
even used dishes
pile up in the refrigerator
(analogous to backed up traffic
on a major thoroughfare),
which get soaped up
and rinsed off
whenever the mood finds
her poised to strike
and block and tackle
laundry that ain't mine
and I can't go back
to the Harris house
formerly at Pooh's corner
before said domicile
got purchased by
(please don't quote me on this)
Donald Nelson
who sold the house
at what used to be the address
when Level Road
barely an animal train
videlicet R.D. #2
until my then soon to be
sixty eight year young papa -
Boyce Harris
purchased aforementioned property
on February 28th nineteen sixty eight
within what comprised
more than a half century ago
the vestiges of Glen Elm
(reduced from an initial spread
of one hundred acres of woodland
to a measly 2.42811 hectares)
initially own by the Leipers,
whose name appeared
housed within the National Register books,
which bound storied information
about the then upper echelon
of Philadelphia high society
purposely omitted top secret details
such as hidden passages
behind secret library walls,
disguised as bookshelves,
commonly called
hidden bookcase doors,
Murphy doors, or
simply sliding bookcases,
functioning as secret passages
or entries to hidden rooms,
with fake books
(some with whimsical titles)
often used as triggers or disguises.

While "bookcase door" descriptive,
specific designs
might be "Murphy doors"
(like a hidden swinging door)
or older architectural features
like "jib doors," noted
in places like the Grolier Club.

No sooner did I slave
lugging one hamper
to the nearest laundry room
(here at Highland Manor Apartments, -
which machines last used years ago
lucking out with an available washer,
whereby I stuffed door jamb packed
with musty laundry
on two separate occasions,
and dryer, which generated
a truckload of lint
of course yours truly
emptied the collector),
which nearly filled the trash can.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

4 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem undertakes an ambitious narrative journey, weaving personal anecdote, cultural references, and architectural curiosities into a sprawling meditation on domestic labor and memory. The title sets a tone of futuristic longing, yet the poem remains deeply rooted in the tangible frustrations and histories of everyday life.

Strengths: - The poem’s stream-of-consciousness style effectively mirrors the mental clutter and emotional complexity tied to household chores and familial history. - The inclusion of specific details—such as the Quran memorization, the architectural references to hidden bookcase doors, and the precise historical data about property ownership—adds layers of texture and invites the reader to consider intersections of personal, cultural, and historical identity. - The metaphorical comparisons (e.g., dishes piling up in the refrigerator likened to traffic jams) are vivid and original, grounding abstract feelings in concrete imagery.

Areas for development: - The poem’s length and density sometimes challenge readability and coherence. Consider breaking the text into stanzas or sections to provide natural pauses and clarify shifts in subject matter. - The syntax is often convoluted, with long, winding sentences that can obscure meaning. Streamlining some passages or varying sentence length could enhance rhythm and accessibility. - While the poem’s digressive style has charm, some references (e.g., the detailed history of the Glen Elm property or the architectural terms) might benefit from tighter integration into the poem’s central themes to avoid feeling tangential. - The emotional core—frustration with domestic labor and the desire for an “android washerwoman”—could be emphasized more consistently to anchor the reader amid the many asides.

Suggestions: - Experiment with formatting to delineate shifts between memory, description, and reflection. - Use repetition or refrain to reinforce key motifs or emotional beats. - Clarify the speaker’s voice and stance, especially in moments of irony or humor, to guide reader engagement.

Overall, the poem offers a rich tapestry of ideas and images but would gain from structural refinement and focused thematic development to maximize its impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact