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Feb 03, 2015
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untitled
I can't go with you
on your flight
you've left me like a dove
in the night
with just a memory
of what it was like
won't you please kiss me
just one more time
before you say good night
my sweet love
goodbye
Steven Zoric
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sparrow
10 years 4 months ago
Steve
Have a read of this, and see if you can sort out the time problem, someone has left, so the next kiss will be on their return.
Not sure where we go with this , I am hoping you will join Scribblers Door Contest it will give you a chance to expand your writing.
If you need any assistance we are all here to talk to,
please make up titles to your pieces, it is better as we can suggest things if needed, but yours will be the guide to our assistance,
Yours Ian.T
weirdelf
10 years 4 months ago
if you can write a poem
you can write a title.
This is bordering on pretentiousness,
though your poetry is fine.
Rula
10 years 4 months ago
Steve
a warm welcome to the Neopoet!
It is good to read you and have you among us.
A nice little piece. I wanted to know more, we are all curious to hear the whole story but it is your choice and I respect it.
I don't think I understood the imagery here
"you've left me like a dove
in the night
quite? lonely? or perhaps in a different state that I am not getting.
.
Are you looking for a title?