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Apr 18, 2012
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Untitled #3
Never let someone hold you down
Fuck you up
Tell you you're nothing
And that you're not good enough.
Never be under someone's thumb
Or fall face downwards
Because you were drawn in
By their lies and deceit.
Be strong
Look within yourself and know
That there are those who care about you
And nothing can touch you, unless you let it.
And no harm will come of you tonight
Not under my watch....
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This was written for a friend who was going through a tough time, and thinking ill of themselves. I haven't titled it, because I haven't been able to think up one that is appropriate.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 2 months ago
Veggie,
The constand shield.
Eddie
weirdelf
13 years 2 months ago
I'm sure your friend was touched,
I would like to see it tweaked to make it more universal, I felt it was written for a specific other, before I read your afterwords.
A suggestion for both the last line and the title
Not on my watch.