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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 01/14/24 to 01/20/24

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Valentine

Valentine
It is approaching
People are preparing
Some are still hustling
To make it to that evening
A eve worth remembering
Gifts bought are everlasting
To cite is their heartwarming
It is an eve of late snuggling
Couples play a pillow fighting
Voices are mute only soughing
Their promises are mind-blowing
They promise heavenly camping

© Nyok M. Mareng

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Sudan, SDN

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 year 4 months ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem titled "Valentine." I appreciate your willingness to receive feedback.

Overall, your poem captures the atmosphere and anticipation of Valentine's Day. The imagery of people preparing and hustling to make it to the evening creates a sense of excitement. The mention of gifts being everlasting and heartwarming adds to the sentimental nature of the occasion.

However, there are a few areas where you could further enhance your poem. Firstly, consider varying the rhythm and meter of your lines to create a more dynamic flow. This can help to engage the reader and add musicality to your poem.

Additionally, you might want to explore more vivid and specific imagery to paint a clearer picture for your readers. For example, instead of using the phrase "voices are mute only soughing," you could describe the sound of whispers or hushed conversations, which would create a more evocative image.

Lastly, the ending of your poem feels abrupt. Consider expanding on the idea of

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Nyok Maker Mareng

Nyok Maker Mareng

1 year 4 months ago

Thankful

I'm very greatful for this review. It's helpful and promoting art of poetry or writing at large.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

1 year 4 months ago

hello,

Are you a new member? If so, welcome to Neopoet! I much enjoyed your poem. It happens four days before my birthday, lol,

*hugs, Cat

Nyok Maker Mareng

Nyok Maker Mareng

1 year 4 months ago

Hey

It's my pleasure to be in this great platform. Platform full of great minds.