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May 16, 2011
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VESTIGE
deep under the green
rivulet run
I cast away the masks
and feel the soul bleeding
there is much of histories
torn from diaries
aflame
embers rising
like snowflakes
climbing
the slow whirl
timeless the dark
where dreams
lay in wait
sharpening their claws
and licking their paws
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Nordic cloud
14 years 1 month ago
This I see vividly, casting
This I see vividly, casting away the masks,
metaphorically I presume,
and the ashes curing up in the smoke,
I know that, I have seen that
with the children,
if you remember long ago,
we watched fascinated by the grace of movement,
and if it is the vestiges of dreams
and past histories
it is a dance of strange drama Steven.
As aye I love your mind's visions
and thoughts you are like a whole nature story
quite apart from the one we all know so well
as if you were of another nature
and yet so definitely
our well known one right here, now.
You take us into other dimensions, thank you
Ann.
Esker
14 years 1 month ago
Wolves and Bears
We had the fairy tale beginnings
horror stories and ghost stories
around the coal oil lamp
when the hydro failed
the house silence
No furnace no Fridge
just the wind in the wires
and trees
magical times
togetherness
Taught to fear bears and wolves
mother so protective of us
Im glad to have this primordial
fear of the woods still
(went mountian biking with a female
from work and it was fantastic So quiet
and the trees stretched over the trail
unlike streets where its just wires and
wires..)
Nordic cloud
14 years 1 month ago
Steven dear you, do you
Steven dear you, do you remember
how the telegraph wires used to hum,
( perhaps before your time too old bat! (me) )
magical sounds that have gone today,
standing beneath them listening to that
and thinking of all the people communicating with each other,
the woman at the telephone exchange
dialing the number for us
plugging us individually in!!
How things have changed.
LuvAnnagain.
Esker
14 years 1 month ago
Yes I do Ann
they still howl in the high winds
how I love the sound and my mom
worked in Emsdale ONtario Canada
the next town as an operator
they still were not owned by BELL
the huge conglomerate in the seventies
and she had to plug the phone into the
wire and cable sets
I saw the woman who worked there
with her in the building when I was a child
They were at our work place getting
some arch supports and they talked to me
for a long while It was exciting to see them
but the wires Yes magical sounds
Janice Pearce
14 years 1 month ago
Steven
I love how you can bring me to where your thoughts and feelings wander!!
CCfire
14 years 1 month ago
lay/lie in wait...I guess
lay/lie in wait...I guess either works...It's moments such as these that cause me to wonder if sleep is a good thing when the images form in my head and bring the dreams that need deciphering. I like the way you bring this full circle.
Esker
14 years 1 month ago
cant remember where
opening statement
body statement
closing statement
maybe It was film
storytelling One oh One
just watching movies and
reading books poems
and watching film makers
its magic sometimes this gift
and I strive in a rather short
few paragraphs to spin something
of interest You CCFIRE are so
much more creatively talented then
I am but Im glad you like my works
CCfire
14 years 1 month ago
You are most kind but I think
You are most kind but I think anyone who is artistic can appreciate the other styles and accept them as proof that poetry comes in many forms and genre's. I am an unabashed fan of yours :)
Candlewitch
14 years 1 month ago
Dear Esker,
Dear Esker,
I find I must ask you what is meant by “the green rivulet run”. Are you referring to a river? I like these lines very much:
there is much of histories
torn from diaries
aflame
embers rising
like snowflakes
climbing
But, I think in Line :4 instead of embers rising like snowflakes climbing, I would have used “ash rising” because it pulls the vision together. Ashs rise as they are light and embers are solid and heavy.
My favorite lines are:
timeless the dark
where dreams
lay in wait
sharpening their claws
and licking their paws
I think I would prefer to have my dreams lick their paws. However the other way could be quite interesting.
Always, Cat
Esker
14 years 1 month ago
meaningful
Dear Candlewitch paper when consumed does rise
and small remnants will be carried aloft sometimes
and in winds or breezes
I know the ember term is more the heavier of substance
ash does rise but I was trying to convey the red
hypnotic as it rose and then burned out
Rivulet run is the hill or ridges or greenspaces where
spring fills its colours in paces Some trees come out
first and then others the grasses lush in places
but yes like a river always the flow I think of
for most things Fluid Dynamics Thank You for
your suggestions