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Nov 23, 2024
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Victory
Victory lies at the end of my rainbow!
When the shadow no longer
veils the door into heaven.
Where I will be free to
think and feel what pleases me.
Not be subject to pain or fear anymore.
When I stand in the presence
of that which created me.
Maybe I'll find out what I have always believed.
That I am eternal in a dormant state
and that I organized my very own mind.
I have become just what I wanted to be.
I've given myself to life's unfair tyranny
and yet I've retained my own identity.
When I get there I will try to be tolerant
of the people who wronged me.
Knowing for certain we're all in this equally
and in the end we'll get what we need.
Then on to the finish I'll meet you I'm sure.
Not looking back, I will have succeeded.
That of becoming what I wanted to be.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is the story of everyman's life. We live breath then die just to give our lives back to our higher power. The good and the"bad", you'll find them there waiting maybe will find that it's all for the experience. I have no idea I don't remember being there, but somewhere deep within I think I've always been there and maybe still am. Maybe just maybe I'm beginning to see. maybe this mess that I see all around me really in truth all started with me! This I must state is my own point of veiw!
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
7 months 2 weeks ago
Dear John,
Excellent introspection. My favorite lines are:
I have become just what I wanted to be.
I've given myself to life's unfair tyranny
and yet I've retained my own identity.
When I get there I will try to be tolerant
of the people who wronged me.
my favorite because I feel the same...
much love, Cat
Leslie
7 months 2 weeks ago
Victory!
Thank you for commenting. This writing is about mind over matter and that we decide what we will become. Whether god or whatever we may become the victory lies right here and now! Just living at all will make it all happen for you, because you and you alone know what you want to become.