The View From my Balcony

From my balcony, what could be seen?
Lilies in bloom, so wild and green,
Orchids in white with mystic glance,
Whispering calls for time to dance—
Come sing with us, this day pristine.

The sun descends, the golden queen,
Her brighter eyes, both wise and keen.
Then higher climbs, in its holy manse,
From my balcony.

Butterflies follow, hover to glean
Rich treasures drawn from nature's cuisine.
They flutter and drift in a gentle trance,
A timeless flow, a view from France—
A masterpiece, exquisite, serene,
From my balcony.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: My first attempted Rondeau

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

6 months 2 weeks ago

I like it...

I can see the night descending, the moon rising and the air turned. The butterflies turn to moths and the night flowers open, making for a fairytale dinner. I'm getting ready to make my own Rondeau. Good stuff! ~ Geez.
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Geezer

6 months 2 weeks ago

I like it...

I can see the night descending, the moon rising and the air turned shaded. The butterflies turn to moths and the night flowers open, making for a fairytale dinner. I'm getting ready to make my own Rondeau. Good stuff! ~ Geez.
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Rula

6 months 2 weeks ago

Thank you sir

Very much appreciate your kind visit, reading and commenting.
Looking forward to reading yours. It was a fun to write .
Please enjoy the process.

Lavender

6 months 2 weeks ago

The View From My Balcony

Hello, Rula,
What a lovely Rondeau! The language and theme are beautiful, and very poetic. I can imagine this sweet scenery, and as your last stanza states, the view is a masterpiece!
I am still studying this disciplined structure. I noticed the syllable count is mostly 8 in each line, but there are a few lines with 9 or 10. I truly don't know - do they need to be the same throughout? (Except for the refrain.) Thank you for such a charming piece! It is a beauty!
Lx

Rula

6 months 2 weeks ago

Dearest Lavender

What a compliment. I am so pleased to know that it appeals to you. Yes, it's a strict form, and should have the same metrical count.
Much appreciate your valuable feedback dear.