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May 02, 2014
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The Voice Of A Warchild
Under a blanket of despair,
no sleep can be found.
A sweet lullaby stolen
from the lips of a mother.
Her tears forming a river
as the cacophonic sound of gunshots
greets the return of the night,
robbing the soul of peace
while harmony is torn asunder
I wish for smiles and laughter,
forsaken for so many years,
not the willingness to embrace pain
just to feel alive for another day.
I yearn for the fighting to end
and the rainbow will no longer
be a mockery to our feelings,
that my aspirations will cease
to be only wishful thinking
Tonight another child dies,
another mother cries..
Their home crumbled
before my very eyes
without a reason why.
I lost a good friend,
his mother lost a son .
Will I meet the same end
only time will tell...
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
11 years 2 months ago
Alid
Nice and emotive and in the context of the current situation of grief and strife when lives of innocent human beings are lost without their fault..
Regards,
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
Thanks, Raj
for the visit and the comment.
Alid
Rula
11 years 2 months ago
A good capture of what's
A good capture of what's going on all around, especially in my region. It is a hell.
Thanks for capturing a bloody day. All needs to learn about.
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
Hi Rula
Thanks for the comment. Have you heard my voice recording which I have PM you? The one on Palestine. I want to know what you think of it.
Alid
Rula
11 years 2 months ago
of course I did
Khalid. Sorry I didn't come back to you to give you my opinion . I thought your reading is really nice and expressive. I always thought the audio adds an extra dimension. I would be surprised if you haven't added it to that piece yet.
Sorry again for my belated response... l know you'll forgive me for being a snail :)
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
Hi Rula
no prob.I just want to check, that's all.
Alid
Roscoe Lane
11 years 2 months ago
Rula,
Rula my apologies to you as well, the western governments are cowed. Stay safe Love Roscoe.
Roscoe Lane
11 years 2 months ago
The world,
The world stands back and allows certain atrocities to happen, we are powerless because governments and dictators are in charge. We must change our governments and then the dictators. I am sorry i get so angry when i read about people being terrorised by governments. Your poem is very emotive and the picture i get i can almost feel the fear, well written, and once again i apologise for my governments weakness. Regards Roscoe...
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
My Dear, Roscoe
the fact that you feel that way revealed that you care and I thank you for that. I agree that we must not allow the corrupted to continue be our leaders. Even if they don't cause the atrocities, allowing them to continue to happen is just as bad. All of us, the real muslims, christians, atheists and the rest of the humans of the right minds want peace and harmony.We want a better world, not just for our sake, but for our next generation but unless we rise against the corrupt leaders, that dream will not come true.
Alid
Barbara Writes
11 years 2 months ago
alid
You beautifully captured the critical times we live in.