Race_9togo

Feb 26, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The Voice You Will Remember

“Look at me”, they shout,
“look at me,
look how wonderful I am
compared to you!”
But they are nothing,
less than insect defecation
stuck to grimy windows
sweltering in useless heat.

“I am here”, they shriek,
“I am here,
look how much I matter,
so much more than you!”
But they are insignificant,
as tiny as the lives they lead,
pathetic amongst the throngs
they so desperately
try to rise above.

“I am wonderful,” they scream,
“I am wonderful,
so much more unique than you!”
but they are only drones,
mindless, ego-driven to believe
that they are special,
instead of just another carbon copy
in the crowd
they will not ever stand out from.

“I am superior,” they yell,
“I am the chosen one,
my life is worth more,
my time on Earth’s important,
so much more than yours!”
Yet what will you remember in the end:
the din of those denying
the pointless failures of their lives,
or this lone voice quietly decrying
the self-righteous certainty
of their significance?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: For all those who believe they are too special and too important to be part of Neopoet.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Comments

themoonman

14 years 4 months ago

Hooray !

Thanks Jim ... couple of things, insignificance
might read better as insignificant.
and crowds maybe "crowd" would be a stronger
statement, after all, the globe is one big crowd.

thanks for posting

Richard

Race_9togo

14 years 4 months ago

Thanks Richard,

Done.
Sorry, way too angry to give a polite reply right now, my friend.

pleiades

14 years 4 months ago

ahhhhh ...the light bulb just

ahhhhh ...the light bulb just clicked on
now i see the reason for the anger

don't feel i really need to 'critique' this,
except to say that i think you have harnessed
your anger well enough to write this cleanly, and
not have it be a mindless rant

hope it was to some degree cathartic for you

cheers
p

Race_9togo

14 years 4 months ago

Thanks P

No, I'm afraid it wasn't cathartic for me at all.
I think I would have preferred a mindless raging rant.
Actually right now I would prefer some blood on my hands, lol, but no, I'm just so damned civilized, these days.
It is despicable, to me, to accept the honest apology of someone, then insidiously manipulate that person into another angry exchange, so that one can then play the outraged and hurt victim, rally like-minded sychophants around the banner of self-righteous indignation, and whine about how "injured" one is.
It fills me with disgust, and with utter contempt.
This is actually an old one, but I figure its appropriate at this juncture...schism...yawning abyss...split-open wound...gaping chasm...

You seem to have enjoyed it, that's good.

Race_9togo

14 years 4 months ago

You're welcome, Bee.

Candlewitch

14 years 4 months ago

Dear Jim,

WOW! I am interested in the circumstances or event that triggered this gunslinger poem. Really wonderfully penned.

Bravo!, Cat

Race_9togo

14 years 4 months ago

Hi Cat

This is an old one, inspired by some events on the old site. It was originally filled with personal attacks, but then I learned the futility of such things, and that making these sort of poems impersonal has a much better impact.
It certainly did when I wrote it.
Glad you like it.