Voyage of the Rum Runner…Chapters III and IV (for Candlewitch and Geezer)

III.
Amongst the twisted wreckage
No water could be found
No grog would be had
All potable drink was scuttled
Along with our benefactor
Upon the coral canyon beneath
Many drops now diffuse
into an inhospitable sea
Infinite flagons of taunting thirst
All save one…
Twelve and one hundred crates
Lined the bounds of my sandy prison
Our soggy captain surrendered
His most precious of cargoes

IV.
Bereft of seaworthy craft
Left to slowly desiccate
Below an angry equatorial sun
I employed what options I’d left
Plunged my dagger between lid and crate
Leveraged the top off with a groan
I beheld the vile causation
of my current miserable state
I decide to compound the dire straits
Pulling one bottle and raising it
To black and missing dentition
Molars clench virgin cork
Divorcing it from the demons inside

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A continuing saga started by Candlewitch and elaborated upon by Geezer. I couldn’t recuse myself hard as I tried.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S.A., USA

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman. I’m enamored by the work of lyricists such as Robert Hunter, John Barlow, John Dyer Baizley, and Tom Marshall just to name a handful.

Comments

Geezer

2 years 11 months ago

Very well...

as long as you have broken it into two parts, I think that it should be Cat's turn again, and we should keep the chapters short enough so as not to have the problem of dividing it into parts. ~ Geez.
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