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judyanne
judyanne
Jun 01, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Wait for Me

When he was small
if I ever drew ahead
'Wait for me, wait for me,' he would call.
He'd follow with little pumping legs
running so fast
I was afraid he'd fall.
I'd tarry by the open door
so he'd not lose sight of me.

As he grew older
he was always running late.
'Wait for me, wait for me,' he would plead.
Thus for his sake
I would hesitate.
I would heed
the entreaty
and slow my feet,
so by the open door we would meet.

He went on ahead -
he had no choice.
'Wait for me, wait for me,' my soul whispered.
Dread drowned my vapid voice,
faith and hope captured
by panic and dismay.

But he left the door ajar,
so I could still glimpse him from afar
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

13 years 1 month ago

Juddyanne

I am absolutely touched by this one which has moistened my eyes...

R

raj

13 years 1 month ago

What's more in this write is

What's more in this write is the tug of the heartstrings which is felt vividly due to the strength of emotions the words emote..

S

scribbler

13 years 1 month ago

hello my friend

I'm pretty sure I know what this is based on and thank you for sharing it with us. And I'm Not such as to dissect s a poem which is this heartfelt............stan

judyanne

judyanne

13 years 1 month ago

thanks scribbles for your 'thoughtfulness'

but i am here for crit
if the poem was so close to my heart that a crit would hurt me, then i wouldn't put it out for suggestions
please don't use that excuse again :)
love judy
xxx

judyanne

judyanne

13 years 1 month ago

reverse syntax

removed
rhyme sacrificed for better grammar
what do you think?

thanks jess
love judy
xxx

judyanne

judyanne

13 years 1 month ago

dear loved

this is also the ending sojourn xx
thanks for the visit... and i'll look at your write - or have i already?

love judy
xxx

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

13 years 1 month ago

A lovely trilogy of thoughts

i rode along the poem as a child rides its three wheeler
over the undulations of the rough unbeaten track,
and was charmed by the visions I saw on my way,
the sound of the tyres rolling with the rhythm,
the beat of my heart sensing the meaning
and the long thread of love that bonded the rider
and the mother together,
invisible ties that are made visible by your poem.

love annanya.

loved

loved

13 years 1 month ago

If you permit me to say Ma'am

you earned a great respect and admiration when you commented on my

Wait for me

poem

then I wrote as Istan...
a name given to me by you..
and you were not too happy with my vocab
there-after .
You declined to read more of mine thence ,..

now my critics say...
I have come a long way ..
would you like to share your current views
If I may request ..

It will be a feather in my cap
only if you so feel..
my sincere regards

Ian.T

Ian.T

13 years 1 month ago

Judy

A lovely yet more than lovely of a bond that forms as strings holding onto each other. Changing places as is life and growing up .
That those strings are there still holding you both is really talking of unconditional love that Siblings hold for each other and that love we strive to feel in all things, Yours Ian.T