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Geezer
Geezer
May 04, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Meter... The Workshop.

(Read More...)

Walkabout... Trochee / Wes' Meter Workshop

Walk about so do we go
Stay on the road all dark night
Lie down come break of dawn sir
Before the heat of daylight

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I think I got it right.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

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Comments

judyanne

judyanne

8 years 1 month ago

Not quite Gee

At least not to my ear....

WALK a - | BOUT so | DO we | GO
STAY on | the ROAD | all DARK | NIGHT
lie DOWN | come BREAK | of DAWN | sir
be - FORE | the HEAT | of DAY -| light

Love judy
xxx
.

Geezer

Geezer

8 years 1 month ago

How about this?...

Walk about so do we go now
Stay on road in dark of night-time
Down to sleep for light of day sir
Wake to walk some miles more

.

judyanne

judyanne

8 years 1 month ago

Great

WALK a - | BOUT so | DO we | GO now
STAY on | ROAD in | DARK of | NIGHT - time
DOWN to | SLEEP for | LIGHT of | DAY sir
WAKE to | WALK SOME | MILES MORE

except for the last verse, where my ear hears spondee at those last two feet
Also, the last verse is in trimeter
It doesn't affect the poem, but I think we were asked for a quatrain of tetrameter

Lol - i didn't follow the instructions either...
Had to use 6 verses for my anapaest, as I couldn't fit it all into 4
GB Shaw is probably turning in his grave....

Anyways Gee.... you got it, mostly
Love judy
xxx
.

Geezer

Geezer

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks...

I get it. Guess I should do as Jess says and go read, read, read!

wesley snow

wesley snow

8 years 1 month ago

Hmm.

Judy is right. It doesn't quite work out. I particularly don't like the second verse. Listen to yourself. As Keats said... poetry should be written naturally or not at all. It must be able to be "spoken" as though it were NOT poetry.

weirdelf

weirdelf

7 years 12 months ago

My readings mate.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1J1NFC0NA04

Trochee and Dactylic are flowing meters because the unstressed last syllables lead you on the the next foot whereas Iambic and Anapest create a more... imperative rhythm, that stressed last foot emphasising rhyme and structure.

You're right, you really need to read it to get the ear for it.