War with Alcoholics or (The jokes on E)

One Drink to get the engine started
Two and I feel a rumbling starting
The Third and Fourth, There Lives within glass were rather short
As I looked at the fifth, I heard a voice insist "Slow down sport"

I must admit I've never been drunk so quick
Just before I rushed the next drink twards my lips
A fellow combatant hysterically admitted

"WHILE OUR SHOTS WERE SINGLE, WE POURED YOU DOUBLES"
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN TO A SIP"
As the whole bar looked at me and chuckled

My next move would be swift
Off the stool I made an exit so quick

Twards pocelin to vomit
The release felt like a gift

Easing my troubles

Halfway to the stall I stumbled

What did I do to deserve such cruelty? I wondered