Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

P
Phumudzo
Nov 27, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

11/24 Dark Times

(Read More...)

Wasn't Easy

WAS NOT EASY

I glance at these walls
As I am flooded by thoughts
Thoughts that make me think of the worst
I could've drowned if I stayed there
I'm fixing myself because I understand sometimes I am the problem too
I tried closing my eyes to things I didn't want to see
But I couldn't close my heart to things I didn't want to feel
Holding on to torments that haunted me
Teared me
Making every breath a battle
Sometimes I'd done wonder if life will ever be what I daydream
Instead of what I lead
I had to search for the light within
Pick up every piece
Be one with peace
As a seed that was trying to find a place
In stormy rains , that washed away the soil
I had to grow and rise up in the rocky soil
Now I stand tall and proud
Knowing I am what I wanted to become
The best version of myself
Alone I stand , with no fear and discouragement
Without my heart and mind being at war
It wasn't easy but I made it

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: South Africa

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

7 months ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Wasn't Easy" effectively conveys a journey of self-discovery and growth through overcoming internal struggles. The imagery of walls, drowning, closing eyes but not heart, and battling torments effectively portrays the emotional turmoil experienced. The metaphor of being like a seed trying to find a place in stormy rains is powerful and resonant. The resolution of standing tall and proud, embracing the best version of oneself, is a strong conclusion that brings a sense of triumph and resilience.

One suggestion for improvement could be to consider varying the rhythm and structure of the poem to enhance the overall flow and impact. This could involve experimenting with line lengths, stanza breaks, or incorporating different poetic devices to create more dynamic shifts in the narrative. Additionally, revisiting certain phrases or images to ensure they are as evocative and precise as possible could further strengthen the emotional resonance of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

7 months ago

Wasn't Easy

Hello, Phumudzo,
Welcome to Neopoet! You've described surviving through a dark time. I can feel the struggle and the discomfort. Your last few strong lines offer encouragement and hope. I like this a lot. I wonder if it could possibly be pared down just a bit. Sit with it awhile and ask yourself which words float to the surface to stay, and which words may seem unnecessary.
I'm eager to read more of your work!
Thank you!
Lavender