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May 15, 2022
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We Are
The wrong chords to a beautiful song,
The scar on her beautiful visage,
The noise in absolute silence,
The youth and the restless,
The Broken Hallellujah,
The lie in small truth,
A pause in violence,
The fireless flame
A smoke, a dust.
The Calm,
The Storm,
The years wasted.
The escapegoat :
The offered sacrifice.
The Biblical jargons,
The unsung psalms.
The promise broken
The house of mourning
The tear in an old man's eyes,
A scratch on a finished painting,
A dot of unwit in a well learned mind,
The very dream they are about to nip in the bud.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 1 month ago
I am...
making an assumption, that you are claiming that "We Are" as the entirety of the human race. I could also make a case for
this piece calling religion the bane of humankind. I might be right on either account or entirely wrong and religion being the savior of us all. However it is, I think this is a well written piece. P.S. I think that the word you are looking for in the line
"The house of [mounig] needs an [r] to make it [mourning]. ~ Geezer.
.
scribbler
3 years 1 month ago
Hello
not revealing who "we" are in my opinion makes this a better poem
Candlewitch
1 year 5 months ago
hello,
I like to take the poem's meaning to be that religion especially Christian, is as Geezer said; The Bane of our society/existence! I like the poem and cannot make any suggestions. It is very well written!
*always, Cat