Weaning myself off social media platforms...,

especially Facebook, but also
Telegram and Zangi
courtesy going cold turkey
ideally after Thanksgiving
cause my psyche feels swollen
as well as my abdomen
analogous to the perky
yo men particularly
after a flood extricating myself
(as if sucked
into virtual mire and muck)
vis a vis when bombarded
with friend requests murky
(think lip smacking sound)
of being chewed to a pulp
and spit out ala beef jerky.

Most every conniving b*tch
applies tricks of the trade to bewitch
after squeezing every last cent
and getting ticked off by the hour
applying seduction as a timely ruse
(videlicet cleaning out my clock),
where all along she will resort
to get money for nothing
and aim to put
poor sucker into dire straits
dumps gullible guy into the ditch
wants to make
a figurative killing and enrich
themselves and will scratch out
affectionate appellations including
experiencing unrequited
love for yours truly
all the while claiming to be
penniless and homeless regarding
minor monetary and housing glitch
respectively (for a heart of fools gold)
and at long last
claiming she found
her knight in shining
(rather tarnished) armor
(the writer in the storm),
and feels, able, eager,
willing and ready to hitch
one's wagon to a star,
no matter their hidden agenda
absent any qualms to bleed me dry
to appease her itch
flagrantly flaunting, attesting
to become the mother
of my future child
to jump my bones (er)
prostituting sight unseen to pitch
without batting an eye
and field of
the opening match of quidditch
subsequently she laughs
analogous to black widow
beating a path
all the way to the bank
without scruples
said vamp (ire)
didst skedaddle after
she got poised
with a vengeance to strike.

All the stops pulled out, which allowed
unrelenting red hot poker rage
to set afire smoldering
electronic bytes bestowed
Imagine dragons cowed
by an implacable friend
turned foe, disallowed
any chance of reconciliation,
whose formerly sweet as sugar voice
hurled blackened barbs
(that stung like being pelted
with a BB-gun) endowed
laced with bitterness.

Even though I curbed my enthusiasm
to facilitate adulterous
heterosexual liaisons,
a barrage of solicitations
from random females,
nevertheless still appear
(within my emails)
to provide rendezvous
upon midnight clear
courtesy flattering innuendos
linkedin opportunistically
rescuing me from marital discontent
and a libido that
took a kamikaze nose dive,
(and contributed to experience celibacy)
mainly attributed
to adverse side affects
from one or more
of the nine
prescription medications
needed to ameliorate
once upon a time anxiety
and panic attacks,
dysthymia, obsessive
compulsive disorder,
and palmar hyperhidrosis,
which rattled
collective soul asylum of mine
since conception eight hundred
and twelve months ago.

As an extremely
introverted little boy
upon the apron strings
of me mum did cloy
mama's second born
and singular male kiddo
stood steadfast, no matter
measure for measure
with a shaky spear
at the ready to deploy
no success when he got older
whether seeking gainful employment
as an Ungabluzen
"schlemiel" did not enjoy
being the scapegoat,
nor did he ever don the role
of Little Lord Fauntleroy,
nor did he experience
how fortune did smile,
but languished whereat
love's labor's lost
a common refrain,
where all's well
did not end well.