Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 21, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Weaverbirds in the Market
Scrambling for space with humans
The weaverbirds strive to wrestle space
Having been dislodged from their homes
(in the Forest)
They swam in the market places
On basins and baskets
Snatching grains of rice and wheats,
fearlessly....
With bamboos and brooms
Men hurry and harry
Hauling stone and curses at the plumes
While the feathers dance to and fro
ceaselessly...
On basins and baskets
For their LAST meals
Before the requiem tolls for ALL
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Feel free to write your critique. The more intense, the better.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
4 months 3 weeks ago
Weaverbirds in the Market
Hello, Michael,
Welcome to Neopoet!
I was not familiar with weaver birds, so I went Google-ing. Beautiful, cheerful birds! Smart and sociable. Lots of wonderful action going on in this poem. I can sense the conflict of the birds no longer having their space, and the frustration of the people in the market dealing with them. The poem's energy gets even more intense with the final two lines. A dire feeling that mankind and the weaver birds cannot co-exist very long.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you!
Lavender