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Geezer
Geezer
Jan 02, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Weight, I'm here...

She was leggy and slim and oh so grim
She didn't know why, I wouldn't look her in the eye
She looked down on me, and still couldn't see
No attraction there was, mostly because

Now, I wanted lovin, not a model of perfection
I was looking all around, just not in her direction
She strained and looked pained and couldn't gain
I was up for some romance and she didn't dance

If she did, I didn't notice, 'cause she couldn't wiggle
There wasn't enough for producing a jiggle
I like meat on the bone, she was just seven stone
She thought that she was natty, but got passed for a fatty

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

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Comments

lovedly

lovedly

5 years 6 months ago

humorous

I saw a gal only wiggling
she snarled
when I started giggling
she commenced bit of jiggling
funny eh
she showed nothing beneath
I fell on the floor glaring
howdy Gee

S

scribbler

5 years 6 months ago

LOL

I'd much rather hug somebody who doesn't feel like a bag of sticks

Geezer

Geezer

5 years 6 months ago

Me too...

But if that's your bag, have at it! ~ Gee.
.

Sparrow

Sparrow

5 years 6 months ago

Gee

A fun write but at the end the weight won, I wondered if you meant Weight or Wait, as you could have been waiting for her to put on weight before making a move lol,
Yours as always Ian ..

weirdelf

weirdelf

5 years 6 months ago

Nup,

mate, not your best, some yodaisms and doesn't make the point I think you are trying to make.

You love women, not the model of women designers try to sell us. Yeah?