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Jun 02, 2012
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The Well of Life
THE WELL OF LIFE
by Ian Thomson
My Life, as far as I can tell,
Is like a stone dropped down a well.
It falls free, with uncaring speed,
Yet seems to hold all that I need.
But I know that quite soon the noise;
Those echoes of my woes and joys,
Will disappear like winter geese
As I, with weary splash, find peace.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
13 years ago
Tam,
Tam this is a cracker, sad but very good indeed. Regards Roscoe...
Tam the Chanter
13 years ago
thanks
As always, Roscoe, my warmest appreciation of your encouragement
Ian
scribbler
13 years ago
Hi Tam
I especially like the winter geese line (might even steal it at some point lol). All the rhymes seem perfect to my uneducated ear..........stan
Tam the Chanter
13 years ago
geese
Thanks Stan , I appreciate your input
Ian
wesley snow
13 years ago
Indeed.
Who cares about the rhyming exercise. This is a bloody eulogy or something. Like a Western haiku. I will have to keep this one. wesley
Oh yes, the rhymes were sound. You pass.
judyanne
13 years ago
i love this ian
but i just have a slight problem with the rhythm in
'It falls free, with uncaring speed'
lol might sound better with your irish accent :)
of course, as you know the rhymes are perfect
love judy
xxx
wesley snow
13 years ago
Judy,
One more time, please. Clarify? What is wrong with "speed/need" as a rhyming pair? wesley
judyanne
13 years ago
i think now
that this is at least the third time you have misread me wesley
what is going on?
is it pick on judy week or something and you've forgotten to tell me??
i mention nothing about rhyme here - read RHYTHM
cheers
wesley snow
13 years ago
By jove, you're right.
Nevermind. wesley