Ian.T

Jan 01, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Were they lies

That stress felt, as I try to stop,
why is there no end that helps me.
I do not believe in many things,
have I not paid my dues to all?

Does everyone feel this torment,
as they sink into oblivions grip.
I was promised so much by you all
I fear the night of glazed eyes.

You say there is something there,
now you have my attention
Shall I wait until that final gasp,
there in the space after, what if.

How can I return and curse you all,
for telling me so many lies.
Leave me alone to my demise,
please hold my hand I need you.

Will the pennies on my old eyes,
pay for the ferry man, or is he a lie.
Will I sink into oblivion as others do,
they have been forgotten you know.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just a thought (Fictitious Thoughts) Just don't ask LOL

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Leicestershire, Ex Moonraker, GBR

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

loved

11 years 6 months ago

Too many question marks

could be avoided
laps tops are crazy ,
poetry shouldn't so be

I have made up my mind
to read only stagnated poetry

Ian.T

11 years 6 months ago

I saw you pass my cave and you forgot that I am there all the time.
So next time pop in for that cup of tea He He
Thanks for your read and reply, we will talk about it one bright day.
Too many questions that will remain unanswered for all time.
There shall I walk one day, yet will I be alone.
Maybe I shall ask Sadie, though I already know the answer.
All you have to do is believe. ------->
Yours Ian.T

loved

11 years 6 months ago

I wanted to have a cup of tea with you today

It was a very sunny day
clear skies
no clouds
but winds were not silent, minus 37
the temperature was only minus twenty seven

I walked across my garden of Eden
with knee deep snow laden
about a mile
All alone
gasping for breath

but then when I did return
I knocked at your door
Ian, in I am
do bring a pot of coffee sizzling

but the door bell didn't ring
the storm ahead had broken electric strings

so I returned home
to have a drink...
next time may be....

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 6 months ago

most things

Are lies, it seems. We paint ourselves in many different ways to please other's..even though the true self hides underneath...Good write, alot of emotions

Ian.T

11 years 6 months ago

Hi! Young Raven

Thanks for your visit, I hope that your holiday has gone well and that this year will be a better one for you.
This was more of a religion thing where they all promise you things as a bribe, I think that they could change the bribing thing to something good.
Hell and damnation is just not on in this present world lol.
Have a great day out there, Yours as always Ian.T xx

Rula

11 years 6 months ago

hello Ian

It is always good to question the things around us and keep a close eye on them not because we don't trust but to make sure that things are under contol.

I would like some more attention to the punctuation for an easier read though I have enjoyed this one already.
Thanks for sharing.

Ian.T

11 years 6 months ago

Rula

Thank you for your read, I am the worse thing ever for punctuation, I always seem to get it wrong lol.
Thanks for popping in, Have a lovely New Year, Yours Ian.T xx

Lonnie

11 years 6 months ago

Mr Ian,

This one asks, but in a way, it also answers, and that is a plus! We all face doubts, we all feel betrayed by those whom we feel have "lied" to us, but in the end, what does it matter? We each are stuck in either our own condemnation or illumination, and that is just the essence of the ball game!

scribbler

11 years 6 months ago

Hello

It seems we all reach an age in which doubt assails us. But it is the experience gained over those many years that allows us to cope with these doubts isn't it? That first stanza last line, you might try deleting "you". It somehow seems to make it more specific in referring to beliefs rather than people..............stan