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Dec 21, 2019
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What A Trip!... [December Contest]
I was jack of all trades, master of few
but I worked real hard most times
I've had three wives, three boys too
Had some accidents, that rang my chimes
My body's wrecked from habits now
I loved cigarettes and weed
I've survived, I don't know how
Always running at full speed
Loved driving fast, on my scoot
Done lots of crazy things
I like reading books, things that shoot
But poetry gives me wings
I'm on the net, friends world-wide
from Australia to Great Britain
I know a queen from Norway
I travel while I'm sitting
My desk is now a sailing ship
A computer is my plane
I see the world different now
And I'm not quite so insane
I have a wife that loves me
I have friends that I can call
I can [if I walk real slow]
Get around the mall
So, don't cry for me, when I'm done
When I've gone to my final rest
I've cried enough for myself
Say; he's off on another quest
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Peggedit
5 years 6 months ago
You ol' (eternally young) GEEZER!
Enjoyed the poem! The self deprecating humor, the way you worked the title into the story line... great fun.
Peg
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
Thanks Peg...
I like a good, funny story. Seriously, if I went to wherever it is we go, and they said; Hey Geez, you can go back and do it all again, but you can't change anything; I'd say, "When do I leave?" Glad you enjoyed! ~ Geezer.
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Obadiah Grey
5 years 6 months ago
There will be no tears for a
There will be no tears for a life well lived!
"three wives",,,, jeyzus man.
Obi.
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
Yeah three...
I'm more impressed that this last one has lasted more than thirty years! I guess I learned enough to keep one. [Not that I'd want more than one at a time!] LoL. Thanks for the read and comment. ~ Geezer.
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lovedly
5 years 6 months ago
three wives??? how did you manage these
And I'm not ((((((quiteXXXX)))))) so insane
good poem sad u can't win
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
I'm just glad...
that you enjoyed. That makes me happy; I don't care too much about winning, although the accolades would be nice. I guess that I haven't been too good at keeping my wives until this one. It's been just over thirty years for this one and I'm not sure how I've managed, except for not being quite so insane.
~ Gee.
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cathy mccormick
5 years 6 months ago
great piece. and great
great piece. and great rhythm. congrats on the just over thirty years. me - 34 and counting. your wife must share my husband's view that there is a fine line between brilliance and insanity and that that is okay lol
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
I totally share...
his opinion! My wife just loves that I'm kind of crazy, it gives her something to complain about. We have this thing where I tell her that it's her job to bitch and it's mine to give her something to bitch about!
weirdelf
5 years 6 months ago
You are Neopoet's finest people's poet.
You know I'm not saying the best poet, I never lie or flatter, you know that, but way the best people's poet. You speak poetry as though it was natural. I guess that makes you a big fat liar! But a skilful one. I envy you.
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
Never thought...
that I was one of the most skillful poets, and I'm glad you don't lie and try to convince me otherwise, but I do appreciate man's foibles and capitalize on them for my stories. I've always been a big fan of Samuel Clemens [Mark Twain] and have tried to emulate his style in my poetry. [Someone did actually say that they thought that I was comparable to him, but modesty prevailed and I poo-pooed it. LoL
Thanks for the kindness, Jess. Coming from you, it makes me more determined than ever to keep writing and I hope that one day, I may achieve some measure of success, [hopefully before I'm dead.]
~ Gee.
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lovedly
5 years 6 months ago
Not necessarily
hopefully before I'm dead.
The world's greatest poets are being read till today
They were never given a Nobel
Robert Frost USA Deserved it(MY SOLE OPINION)
Maya Angelou USA
Shakespeare UK Still going strong ...more than nearing 500 years now. The Nobel was introduced thereafter
Pablo Neruda USA CHILEAN NOBEL LAUREATE One of the few still read
Rudyard Kipling Indian
Rabindra Nath Tagore Indian (Kindness UK)
You could be one
But publish some poems
I am being read by 1000 over the Internet (WILL NEVER get it ever)
So don't bother
those who give Nobel's
are only like us
simply human
You do your work
at best Stan and I will read you you bet
jess has already given his view
weirdelf
5 years 6 months ago
Come on lovedly, you're better than that.
Why on earth would you want to take away from a compliment from me to Gee? You have never been mean spirited and bitchy before.
lovedly
5 years 6 months ago
MISUNDERSTOOD AGAIN
....You do your work
at best Stan and I will read you
you bet..........(GEE)
(jess has already given his view)
anything wrong here
I'm sorry tell me
I shall delete it
jess
I am a broad minded idiot
of a self styled poet
while you were away
Gee read every one of my poems
as you did once
upon your shoulders lies the weight of credit
if any for me
GEE won the DEC CONTEST
jess
I
CON g RATTED him
GRACEFULLY
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
I think you...
are right; so I changed it up a little. What do you think?
Edna Sweetlove
5 years 5 months ago
3 wives
You've had only three wives?
I've had many more thn that. Mind you, they weren't mine...
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Geezer
5 years 5 months ago
I fail to see...
irregularities in the meter, but feel free to point them out. Glad you liked it! ~ Geezer.
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scribbler
5 years 5 months ago
Hmmmmm.....
Try my desk is now my sailing ship and see if it better conveys what you want.....dang, there is a typo here somewhere but I can't find it now....well I'll let you find it lol.....stan
Geezer
5 years 5 months ago
Thanks to...
you and jerryk, I think I have found the spots that were mentioned previously. Still haven't found a typo, but...
~ Gee.
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