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Sep 15, 2024
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What's Life About?
Step out the door to clear the doubt.
You'll learn for sure what life's about.
What's good, what's bad, go out, explore,
to clear the doubt, step out the door.
Unlatch the lock, cast out the fear.
find out your way through hope and cheer.
The journey is a joyful walk,
Cast out the fear, unlatch the lock.
The secrets lie upon your palms.
Feel free to share your heartfelt psalms
Enhance your wits, give it a try
Upon your palms the secrets lie.
Have self esteem, respect the old.
Find out the way, be strong and bold.
Be nice and kind; a star to gleam.
Respect the old, have self esteem.
Knock hard to learn what, where and why.
Detect the world with naked eye.
It doesn't lie, but helps you gain.
What, where and why, knock hard to learn.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The swap Quatrain
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
10 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "What's Life About?" effectively uses a structured rhyme scheme and repetition to convey its message. The repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of each stanza creates a cyclical effect, reinforcing the idea of a journey or exploration.
However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the general themes of exploration, learning, and personal growth are clear, the poem could be more engaging if it included more detailed descriptions or examples. For instance, instead of saying "Detect the world with naked eye," the poem could describe a specific scene or object that the speaker observes.
The poem also tends to tell the reader what to do or feel, rather than showing through action or description. For example, "Be nice and kind to those in need" could be shown through a specific act of kindness. This would make the poem more vivid and engaging.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from varying the rhythm or meter. While the consistent rhythm gives the poem a steady pace, varying the rhythm could add interest and better convey the ups and downs of the journey that the poem describes.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Triskelion
10 months ago
Hi Rula..
...I liked the pace in this educational rap(ish) piece and the in-mix of internal rhymes. Thats a first for me with the swap bit in there. Pretty cool.
Thomas
Rula
10 months ago
Hello Thomas
My pleasure to introduce a new form of poetry to a talented poet like yourself. It adds to my happiness knowing that it appealed to you.
I v. Much appreciate your kind visit sir.
Lavender
10 months ago
What's Life About?
Hello, Rula,
An energetic poem! The lovely rhythm and rhyme added to its enthusiasm. I enjoyed the Swap Quatrain, too! Thank you!
Lx
Rula
10 months ago
Sorry
For the belated reply my friend.
My pleasure. It means a lot to have your kind visit dear Lavender.
Candlewitch
10 months ago
Dear Rula,
I much enjoyed your take on life. You are always so upbeat and constant. It is soothing! From beginning to end.
*hugs, Cat
Rula
10 months ago
Dearest Cat
I'm pleased you could get that all from my words.
Your visit is always appreciated dear.
Thank you so much my friend.