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Jun 05, 2012
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When The Moon
When the moon falls at daybreak
And gives in to the sun
To the dew of mornings breath
As it whispers from the wind
The birds will sing a song of joy
Revealing natures glow
The children play joyfully
For mothers work that's not done
The sun falls slowly back asleep
And gives in to the night
We smile a smile
We dream a dream
As day falls out of sight.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Tommi Cordial
13 years 1 month ago
thank you Mark
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will consider breaking if it doesn't take too much from the flow.
Tommi
Tommi Cordial
13 years 1 month ago
I appreciate your view
Or rather should i say minds ear. now that you mention it, it does seem a little like a lullaby.
Tommi
loved
13 years 1 month ago
my MAIDEN TOMMI ... UR ALSO CORDIAL AS U SAY
''We smile a smile
We dream a dream
As day falls out of sight.\\ ....GEEGRREEAAT.. GR8WORDS
Lovely ingredients of life you express ...as three in one ...ice-cream kind
SMILE IS THE gifts of life... its abs free GIVE IT TO ALL HUMANITY...
DREAM... is that imagination which each one nurses ...but does not take further ...unless they have the verve...you have...
SIGHT..... IS THAT MOST ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT OF THE HUMAN FORM
WITHOUT WHICH NO ONE CAN SURVIVE
else it would be like a perpetual tsunami
Tommi Cordial
13 years 1 month ago
Thank you
I am so glad you enjoyed it.
Tommi