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Dec 27, 2024
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When you are in a hole, stop digging
I landed in a hole
And stayed there
Not knowing what to do
Not understanding how I got there
Or even the reason why
But I decided that the hole was too deep
For me to deal with by myself
I took a leap of faith
And a large jum
And tried something else
A little different
From what I usually do
And who I wanted to help me
Out of the hole
So I saw a man
Who really got me
And understood me
And listened to me
And reminded me
That I had it all
And that I had forgotten
How
Why
And Where
It's hard to get up from a hole
When you're deep down there
It takes too much energy
And will power
And I had to believe that I had it
He talked me into it
Oh so slowly
And gradually
He gave me the images
And moved me around
Like a piece on a chess board
With grit
And determination
I can still see them
He convinced me
That I had what it takes
To climb out of the hole
It was hard
Really hard
But I did it
And I saw the image
That reminds me
Never to go down that hole
Ever again
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I continually contemplate a particular choice I made in November to deal with what I thought was a simple problem, but turned out to be one that I had made for myself and was no longer working for me. I chose, for me, an unconventional way of dealing with it, but it was the best choice that I have ever made. The person I went to was an amazing individual, with the capacity to confront me in the best way possible, and I apply the suggested strategy now on a daily basis. I was in a hole and yes, I had to dig myself out of it really! I encourage anyone out there who has had a moment or has felt like this to find a way to heal themselves. Seek out the right help if you need it. Just do something to help yourself. It is so important.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem effectively uses the metaphor of a hole to represent a challenging situation or emotional state. The narrative arc is clear, moving from confusion and despair to resolution and determination. However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery and sensory detail. For instance, instead of stating "I landed in a hole," the poet could describe the feeling of falling, the darkness or coldness of the hole, etc. This would make the metaphor more vivid and engaging for the reader.
The poem could also benefit from more varied sentence structure and rhythm. Many lines are similar in length and follow the same syntactic pattern, which can make the poem feel monotonous. Experimenting with different line lengths, enjambment, and punctuation could help to create more dynamic rhythms and emphasize key moments in the poem.
Finally, the character of the man who helps the speaker out of the hole could be developed further. As it stands, he seems to function more as a plot device than a fully realized character. Giving him specific traits or actions could make him more memorable and add another layer of complexity to the poem. For example, instead of saying "He gave me the images," the poet could describe what these images are and how they affect the speaker. This would not only make the man's role in the poem clearer, but also deepen the reader's understanding of the speaker's transformation.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
6 months 2 weeks ago
I agree...
with most of what the A.I. has said, this leaves a lot to the imagination,
and while I am all in favor of the reader using their imagination to flesh out spots in the poem, there are some difficulties in doing so here.
One of the things that makes this piece difficult, is the advent of "Who I want to help me out of the hole." Is it someone you already know? The next lines lead one to believe that it may be. "So I saw a man..." The rest of the piece is pretty much explained. Oh, by the way, I do believe that you have omitted the [p] at the end of the word jump. ~ Geezer.
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The Gogetter
6 months 2 weeks ago
Response to Geezer
Yes, Geezer, I did leave out the "p" in jump. I entered this poem too early in the morning, so I created a typo. I do know the person who helped me out of the hole, although in this poem, I did not give his name. I often use his name in other poems that I write, because he helped me so much. The funny thing is that I only came to write this poem after viewing "Eat, Pray, Love", and I was so consumed by the thought that just maybe I had finally reached a similar stage to the author of this book. I try not to wallow in these thoughts too often, but every now and then they return. They can be a nuisance, but they create such wonderfully long poems, a bit like songwriters who only produce fantastic songs when they have either lost a love or really lost someone ( like I did) in their lives. I tend to compose very long almost love poems to the man who helped me out of the hole and gave the strength to continue. It is almost embarrassing, since when I write poems about my late husband, they are emotional, but the poems to the man who helped revive me quite recently ( in a professional way) are more like yearning love stories, or that is the way they appear to be for me. Thank you for responding. I look forward to any comments in order to improve my writing, which is coming thick and fast in the most unusual circumstances.