Dec 16, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Where am I ?

I saw me falling that day
I felt fatigue deep inside me.
I wasn't ascertained---
I was just benumbed.
The place was full of darkness
I didn't know where that place was,
Still I am living in this place
Every day, and moment
I don't know how to come back.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Bangladesh

Comments

weirdelf

7 years 9 months ago

I don't understand why this poem has gone a month and half

without response.
It is a deep, poignant poem and well written.
My only crit is the word 'ascertained',
it is the correct in meaning but does not feel quite right in context, perhaps you could find a better synonym that is a tad more dynamic?
Sorry, that's all I have to offer.

weirdelf

7 years 9 months ago

Also the title is a bit... adolescent?

I'm sure you could find a better one.
You have a strong poetic sense and wordcrafting. I look forward to more of your work.

weirdelf

7 years 6 months ago

Don't forget to give feedback

on other people's work. Maybe that is why you have not had many responses.

raj

7 years 6 months ago

Hi Weirdelf

Good that you brought this poem back to stream...apparently it was posted while I was away from Neopoet for a long time.i agree that it has a good theme and poetic feel but need a bit more to make it more poetic...
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raj

7 years 6 months ago

Hi Jannatul Annika

I don't know what is your first name...whatever it be...welcome to Neopoet....
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