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Dec 17, 2025
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Where are you now
Where are you?
Are you now walking?
On holy ground
There are
You will find
A vegie garden
There you will find
A apple tree and some
Raspberries to eat
You are all welcome
To have one apple per
House hold
And also raspberries
Are the same like
Each house hold
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem employs a direct, almost conversational tone, addressing an absent "you" and speculating about their current location. The opening questions—"Where are you? / Are you now walking?"—set a searching, contemplative mood. The phrase "On holy ground" introduces a spiritual or sacred dimension, though this is not further developed in the imagery that follows.
The poem transitions abruptly to a description of a "vegie garden" with an "apple tree and some / Raspberries to eat." This shift grounds the poem in the tangible and domestic, contrasting with the earlier, more abstract sense of absence and spirituality. The specificity of "one apple per / House hold" and the rules about raspberries introduce an unexpected, almost bureaucratic note, which could be interpreted as commentary on sharing, community, or scarcity.
The poem's structure is fragmented, with short lines and frequent enjambment. This creates a halting rhythm that may reflect uncertainty or a searching quality, but it also disrupts the flow and can make the poem feel disjointed. The repetition of "There you will find" and the echoing of "Each house hold" at the end reinforce the sense of rules or guidelines, but the phrasing is awkward and could benefit from revision for clarity and conciseness.
The poem's central tension—between the spiritual and the mundane, the personal and the communal—is interesting, but the imagery and language could be developed further to clarify the poem's intent and emotional resonance. The use of "holy ground" and the garden might suggest an allusion to Eden or paradise, but this is not explicitly explored.
Consider refining the poem's structure to enhance coherence and flow, and expanding on the thematic connections between absence, spirituality, and communal sharing. The poem would benefit from more precise language and a clearer sense of progression from the opening questions to the closing instructions.
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