Whispers...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem explores themes of artificial intelligence, embodiment, and the evolution of humanity through technological integration. The structure consists of four quatrains with irregular rhyme and meter, which creates a sense of instability that aligns with the poem’s subject matter—transition and uncertainty.

The opening stanza introduces “whispers” as both literal and metaphorical, suggesting the subtle emergence of consciousness or agency within programs. The phrase “words with hidden meaning, leaning” is evocative but ambiguous; “leaning” could benefit from clarification, as its function here is unclear—does it refer to leaning toward meaning, or to a physical or metaphorical tilt?

The second stanza shifts to corporeality, describing synthetic bodies with “plastic hearts” and “skin that flexes, mimics sexes.” The line “Orgasms lasting longer” introduces a provocative, possibly satirical element, but its abruptness disrupts the tone established earlier. If the intent is to critique or highlight the commodification of pleasure in artificial bodies, this could be developed further for clarity and cohesion.

The third stanza introduces the merging of minds and materials (“stainless-steel”), and the phrase “Program melting pots, they’re hot” uses wordplay that borders on humor or satire. The stanza’s closing lines—“A.I. a danger; to them and us, / ask them how they feel”—raise questions about empathy and risk, but the poem does not elaborate on these points, leaving the reader with unresolved tension.

The final stanza addresses the limitations of flesh and the necessity of technological adaptation for space exploration. The rhyme of “tweaked” and “race” is slant, which, combined with the abrupt ending, adds to the poem’s unsettled mood. The assertion that “not meant for space, this race” is ambiguous—does it refer to humanity, or to the bots themselves?

Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its thematic ambition and willingness to juxtapose the organic and synthetic. However, the poem would benefit from greater clarity in its imagery and more consistent development of its central ideas. Some lines risk obscurity or tonal inconsistency, particularly where humor or satire is introduced without clear context. Consider refining the language for precision and developing the poem’s argument more cohesively to enhance its impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

I adore this poem, it is a product of your brilliance... I know just how you feel! my favorite lines are, really hard to choose, but I will go with:

The only way to reach for space
is to shed this mortal skin and kin.
Flesh is weak, but bots get tweaked,
not meant for space, our race.

Good luck on the contest I Love ya, Cat

You absolutely know what you are talking about. The AI is conquering our lives.rapidly and without taking the permission.

It's frightening me. Hope we won't regret bringing it to life.

Thank you for sharing this one sir!

Hello, Geezer,

Love the title - it adds a special eerieness to the subject.

I agree that AI has its benefits, but there is an element of disconnect and dishonesty that can take us down the wrong road. I wonder if we've developed something too smart for our own good? Really like the reference to our mortal skin. We do have our limits. 

Thank you!

L

Hi Geezer, very Black Mirror, this one and all the more relevant because we're being bombarded with this subject from every direction. Feels like the media's run out of positive illusions for us, and it's giving us anything but reality or what it thinks it can sell? Ruby 

That's a wonderful work thanks for sharing