Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jul 12, 2020
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
White Sails
White Sails
gleaming in the sun
slow motion rider
your journey has just begun
The breaking waves upon the wall
miniature spouts of whales to recall
A freighter out on the horizon
where is it bound
sandpipers scurry as they dodge the waves
The seagulls cry and shatter the calm
still they are a part of this glorious song
something is missing in all of this beauty
that something and someone is you
About This Poem
Last Few Words: written while visiting. I cannot say who I was missing at the time my brother(now deceased) as I watched from his porch I could see the bay meet the river then meet the ocean
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
c lynn brooks
5 years ago
Teddy
thank you. yes I love the ocean in fact the title of my first book is the lady is an ocean
Gracy
5 years ago
Dear lynn, such a lovely poem
Dear lynn, such a lovely poem. The imagery is beautiful, the title perfect. I love it. I also love the sea. Below, a few suggestions for neater verses, to TorT.
Seagulls cry and shatter the calm
still they're part of this glorious song
something is missing in all of this beauty,
I know 'tis you.
(that something and someone is you)
Hope you don't mind, all the best, Gracy
c lynn brooks
5 years ago
Gracy
thank you for the suggestions
I cheated this poem is already in print it being summer I thought it appropriate
jetz
5 years ago
This is lovely
You can't go wrong with ocean and song. I feel as if I have read this before.
Perhaps it the images you paint with your words. All things I love.
Very nice.
Sue
Not that anyone asked but my vote is no on the 'tis. Sorry Gracy.
c lynn brooks
5 years ago
jetz
you may very well have see above for explanation thank you for reading
raj
4 years 12 months ago
Hi Chrys
Thanks for pulling this poem out of print...that's why we could read it...
i would like to point out that there are two "are"s in the line "still they're are a part of this glorious song"...is it delibeate or through oversight?
be well..
c lynn brooks
4 years 12 months ago
raj
thanks for catching that and for the read will make repairs now