Why Do I Love You

completly.......completely
absurb!...........absurd

But I can not imagine my life,..........

..........I was always told, in the 1940's!!
That if you can leave out BUT do, and
here the line would be slightly more
manageable with out it perhaps?

Is something I can not hide..........cannot?

What just goes to show,what i have become,.......oops suddenly so long!

Some changes here , perhaps ...It just shows what I've become...but you must do that?

One fine day
I'll kick you to the curb
but who am I kidding honestly
I think I've fallen, how absurd.

Just some thoughts about this dear Greeneyes,
it is a sweet little poem but needs a wee bit of
brushing up. That's my thought about it!!

Much love and happy to see you here too,
from Nordic cloud.
Ann.with love.

You had me going on this one until I reached the end and I smiled. This poem is really nice and this line just a tweak or two on it:

What just goes to show,what i have become,
I am completly your little fool.

( the i cap like the rest of your piece)
( completely corrected sp)

Missed you and your words

Love Magics

what fool must he be,
to ignore lovely eyes,
as yours
u have four boys
and a girl
keep ur family intact,
each one is a pearl,
including him,
for whom your poem
now you unfurl
hope he awakens
from the slumber
in which he basks and
its high time that he
now unmasks

please don't take this list of suggestions to mean I don't like this poem as I do. these may help flow a bit:
l-3 Change any to much
l-5 omit " my "
l-8 change can not to can't
l-11 change wake to waken or awaken
l-13 change plural daggers to dagger to maintain singularity of rest of verse
l-15 add a syllable somewhere ( maybe add that before you ?)
l-19 change what to which
l-50 tell scribbler to mind own business
just a few ideas ; feel free to ignore or use as you see fit........stan