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Mar 27, 2014
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The Wind (Stan's WS)
It travels across the seas,
the mountains and the trees,
passing through villages
and great modern cities
Its gentle touch
is like a lover's caress,
soothing and comforting
a troubled soul laid to rest
It makes me grateful
on a hot, summer's day,
when the heat is intense,
making me sweat all day
When it is erratic and violent
it's a force to be feared
as it devastated the cities,
inflicting a million hurts
While mortals remain helpless,
caught in its blind rage,
forced to pick up the pieces
of a life that has gone to waste
Such is the nature of the wind..
When it is graceful, it's lovely
When it is violent, it is madness,
it is cruelty
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
11 years 3 months ago
Hello khalid
A good choice. A theme that can make use of good deal of imagery and I think you did well in that.
The line "inflicting a million hurts"...is not clear. Do you mean "hearts"?
alidzain
11 years 3 months ago
Hi Rula
First of all, thank you for the visit and the comment. What I wanted to say is inflicting a lot of pain on many people but I don't really know how to say it without disrupting the rhyme too much err any ideas?
Alid