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Jan 04, 2022
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window watching
people unknown, yet moments shared.
a peek, a snippet, a preview of someone else's life
a laugh, a cry, a meal seemingly shared between us
a moment lost that was never ours
I don't know your name, but for a moment we were us
all because you caught me window watching
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
3 years 6 months ago
Hello
An unusual subject well covered. Only suggestion: in line 1 try changing but to yet.....for some reason it seems more poetic to me.