Windship Fortune

To lose a day to ennui
Is an abhorrent loss to me

To idle through a waking day
And never leave the path to stray

Where no one else's mind has trod
Thinking thoughts like seeds in pods

That germinate and grow to be
the waves that froth beneath my lee

As my vessel charges full and bye
towards lost horizons 'neath a sky

Of cerulean blue and popcorn cloud
I sing in riots of rounds out loud

To thank my God that I may be
Alive this day of fantasy

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Canada, CAN

Favorite Poets: The next one I read. I thoroughly enjoy reading the works of amateur poets. Neruda is my hero but absolutely no one has a better way with words than Shakespeare.

Comments

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

Hello

Rhyming couplets don't find their way here too often lol. You did well with them. I kept reading this and something kept nagging at me. About the fourth time I found it : "beneath my lee". Lee can be on either side but not beneath, Perhaps "before my lee"? Just a thought..............stan

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

Josephus

Though I liked this one I thought it just a little stressed in its arrangement, I looked up your words as did Beau and up pops this little piece from Sylvia Plath, Jess (Weirdelf) says that we should read more and your word did just that as I had a few spare moments..

SYLVIA PLATH

Ennui

Tea leaves thwart those who court catastrophe,
designing futures where nothing will occur:
cross the gypsy’s palm and yawning she
will still predict no perils left to conquer.
Jeopardy is jejune now: naïve knight
finds ogres out-of-date and dragons unheard
of, while blasé princesses indict
tilts at terror as downright absurd.

The beast in Jamesian grove will never jump,
compelling hero’s dull career to crisis;
and when insouciant angels play God’s trump,
while bored arena crowds for once look eager,
hoping toward havoc, neither pleas nor prizes
shall coax from doom’s blank door lady or tiger.

Wow! there are a few words here that need to be looked up.
I look forward to your future writes, the rhyming Couplets were a change from what I write, Yours Ian.T

Frenchf

12 years 3 months ago

I liked the day of fantasy

And the use of the words popcorn and lee

Josephus

12 years 3 months ago

Thank you French. Your

Thank you French. Your comment is much appreciated

Joe

Josephus

12 years 3 months ago

Thanks to you all!

Thanks to you all for your courteous and enlightening comments. As a solo sailor of 50+ years experience, I view "lee" as short for lee side or opposite the windward side of a ship. The waves indeed do fall beneath my lee. From my experience the inagery and scenes WERE FANTASTICAL but as with most things they are so only in the eye of the beholder. In your case they were justifyable not.

Thanks once more and best regards to you all,

Joe