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gregwa8
gregwa8
Mar 28, 2019 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Cellar Door

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Wine Dark Sea (Cellar Door poem)

To get the wine
That swells with time
We must ignore
The cellar door

To taste the ships
Upon our lips
The cellar door
Must be ajar

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A reading of my poem is at: https://soundcloud.com/gregwa8/wine-dark-sea

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

6 years 3 months ago

Damn...

did it by habit and checked the N/A box without thinking! Oh well, this is a critique of this poem. The title is catchy and drew me in right away. Language okay, the rhythm of it seemed like waves and the theme of wine being a dark sea, pretty good. I like that you ended it with a play of word. ~ Geezer.
.

Rula

Rula

6 years 2 months ago

Nice song greg

lovely rhymes and rhythm.
Did you mean "chips" or "ships"?