Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

This poem is part of the workshop:

Earn A Poem Workshop 1

(Read More...)
This poem is part of the contest:

12/25 Winter Whines

(Read More...)

WINTER KILLS

It’s frigid now so I must go
Leave crystal glass lakes
Leave blanketing snow.
Go where there is warmth,
Razor winds don’t blow.
So cold here now, swift, I must go.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: Isle of Wight United Kingdom

Favorite Poets: Poe, Swinburn, Bob Dylan, Spike Milligan, Alfred Noyes, Kipling., Many Others.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

4 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem employs repetition of the phrase "I must go," which reinforces the speaker's urgency and desire to escape the cold. The imagery—"crystal glass lakes," "blanketing snow," "razor winds"—is concrete and evocative, establishing a vivid winter landscape. The use of "crystal glass" to describe lakes is effective in conveying both beauty and fragility, while "blanketing snow" suggests both comfort and suffocation, adding a layer of complexity to the setting.

The poem's structure is straightforward, with short lines and a consistent rhythm that mirrors the speaker's haste. The rhyme scheme (go/snow/blow/go) creates cohesion, though the internal repetition of "go" could be reconsidered for greater variety or emphasis.

Thematically, the poem addresses the tension between the allure and danger of winter. The speaker's motivation for leaving is clear, but the emotional stakes could be heightened by exploring what is lost or left behind beyond the physical discomfort. Additionally, the poem could benefit from more specificity or unique detail to distinguish it from other poems about escaping winter.

Overall, the poem effectively uses imagery and repetition to convey its message, but further development of the speaker's emotional landscape and more distinctive language could deepen its impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

3 months 3 weeks ago

Winter Kills

Hello, Alex!

Really enjoyed this!  I felt every word.  Its brevity enhances the urgency to leave winter behind!

I'm thinking "swift" should be "swiftly" if it's being used as an adverb...

Thank you!

L

Alex Tanner

Alex Tanner

3 months 2 weeks ago

Hello L.

You are quite correct about 'Swift' but so am I. Under normal circumstances, perhaps in a letter, I would say 'Swiftly' but to make a poem flow I take the liberty of using a cut down version, as in 'Swift flies the arrow'. I often think that many of the poets here could make their work flow so much better if they would look at how they can modify words and use them as the earlier poets would. I am always pleased to receive comments and suggestions so please keep at it. I will take this opportunity to wish you a very happy new year. Alex