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Jan 05, 2011
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Winter To my Summer Heart
a new image of life fell down from the clouds
as it drop the sweet touch of silver snow,
peace,kindness,love........ - all's reborn..all pure..
from the charity of heaven lending me a sweet sacrifice...
the gravity of falsehood and the destruction of morals
had eaten half of my soul but with the chance to feel the winter,
i felt rebirth to be better and stronger..
without - i could have been dead and numb..
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
11 years 6 months ago
Whitescatter
A lovely name, and as your words are a tribute to the gentle fall of snow in its whiteness.
I haven't enough time to read more of your works but you stir a beauty here in these two parts.
In the first part you have put "drop the sweet" should it be Dropped the sweet.
Take care and keep writing, Yours, Ian.T