scribbler

Dec 27, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

WINTER SUNSET

A low evening sun
glowing through a yellow sky
gilding snow patches

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

loved

14 years 6 months ago

A Japanese Haiku

explains seasons in syllables
5 7 5=17
U MAY like to rework a bit perhaps

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

I rechecked and don't see where I missed count. Perhaps you're thinking evening has 3 syllables, but after checking Webster's I found it has only 2. Appreciate the read and won't mind at all having it pointed out where I messed up........................scribbler PS especially would like to know of a mistake outside of syllable count

loved

14 years 6 months ago

I need to

either edit
or u have to accept
my regrets
any way u win
i lose sorry

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

lol

This is no contest with winners or losers. I know your intent was to help and I know I make enough mistakes to take any help offered lol your friend..................stan

loved

14 years 6 months ago

thanx

frnd
i learnt all about haikus from here
only made one or two
so i said
hai to uuuuuuuuuuuu
goood haiku u doooooo

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

sunset

Once in a while I try a Haiku to save an image in a hurry then expand on it later.....scribbler

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

sunset

you know how I am , I see and then tell lol....................stan

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

winter

thank you...........................scribbler

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

sunset

high praise indeed considering the source...................stan

Kailashana2

14 years 6 months ago

You're mastering the art of

You're mastering the art of haiku.

Good for you!

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

sunset

nice of you to say, but I'm hardly the master of any form..............................scribbler

Kailashana2

14 years 6 months ago

I didn't say master I said

I didn't say *master* I said *mastering*, Stan... ;-)

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

lol

see, I haven't even mastered reading..................stan

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

winter

and all I can say is a big thank you lol.......................stan

mand

14 years 6 months ago

Heellllloooooo Stan

A stunningly beautiful image you have captured here. From right across the world.

Wonderful to visualize thanks to your beautiful poem.

Thanks Stan

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxx

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

hhmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

It seems the less I write the better ya'll like it lol. Thank you for the read and kind comment Mandy.............stan

Hooded Stranger

14 years 6 months ago

Stan

Stan,

you have me stumped with the syllables in line one.

The word 'even' has two syllables, with the 'ing' being a another. So that would suggest three syllables. That said I have spent a while looking up the word 'evening'...the majority seem to agree that there are three, but some say two?

So we can split the word up it would appear in two ways:

Ev-en-ing
Eve-ning

so I think it comes down to how you promounce it!

How very complicated!

Great Haiku my friend...possibly!

Lol!

I didn't bother with the last two lines because my head hurts!

regards,

scribbler

14 years 6 months ago

Hey Dan

According to Webster's 9th Collegiate Dictionary it's eev-ning although I often hear it pronounced as 3 syllables also. Good ol' English lol. Doc Holliday prescribes 2 aspirin for the head. I think what messes most up is pronouncing the 2nd E which is silent....................scribbler

Hooded Stranger

14 years 6 months ago

Stan

Stan,

I have taken 2 Asprins...and I still don't know how many syllables are in that damned word!

Lol!