Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Wintery TouchDown
As the winter makes a touchdown,
raving along the paths, the brushes, the rivulets,
it arouses rigid trees to a dancing sway,
which quickens musing air to breezy fare.
With each passing day, more and more the winter breeds its cold,
very likely to bring along buckets of wind
which will roam earth's perimeter in windy colors,
transfixing faces with awe of chill.
The sun in hibernation drowsed, in realms above and above,
but too distant from the firmament's reach,
in this season the poles are overrun by clouds
that twine with the wind in nature's call so solemn.
Oh winter, have you come to mock? !
Have you come that summer may quit and go?
You know with your intrusion this will surely be,
when sheets of cold cascade down to the feet of the earth,
the sunlight to shimmering smithereens breaks,
emboldening darkness to sift through the sunny cracks
to smear the day with cold color black,
sending us to bed while the day is still young.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
5 years 8 months ago
hi I like the title
a chilly fun poem to bring in the wintry cold front from the artic
chima ononogbu
5 years 8 months ago
Thanks
Barbara thanks for your generous comments.
Barbara Writes
5 years 8 months ago
welcome
to neopoet
Rottiestyl
5 years 8 months ago
Chima
the sunlight to shimmering smithereens breaks,
emboldening darkness to sift through the sunny cracks
to smear the day with cold color black,
sending us to bed while the day is still young.
Lines two thru four are very good. Great imagery about the changing of time. From high light to winters pour of oh so early liquid dark.
Loved it!