Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Witches Magic Spells

Eye of Newt, and toe of frog.
Wool of bat, and tounge of Dog.
Adders fork,and Blind worms sting.
Lizard's leg, and howlets sting--

For a charm of powerful trouble.
Like a Hell--broth boil and bubble.
Double, Double, tail and trouble.
Fire burn and cauldron bubble

About This Poem

Last Few Words: COMMENTS PLEASE.

Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

3 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem closely mirrors the witches' chant from Shakespeare's "Macbeth," particularly the famous "Double, double toil and trouble" passage. While literary references can enrich poetry, it is important to clearly signal the intention behind incorporating such direct allusions. The poem currently does not offer a fresh perspective or reinterpretation of the original material, making it difficult to discern the poet's unique voice or purpose.

Additionally, there are some spelling and punctuation inconsistencies that detract from the reading experience. For instance, "tounge" should be "tongue," "tail and trouble" appears to be a misquotation of "toil and trouble," and the punctuation around "Hell--broth" and "Double, Double" seems inconsistent or unclear.

To strengthen this poem, consider clarifying the intention behind referencing Shakespeare's original text. Is the goal to parody, reinterpret, or pay homage? Clearly defining this intention will help guide revisions. Also, careful proofreading and editing for spelling and punctuation accuracy will improve readability and coherence.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Obadiah Grey

Obadiah Grey

3 months 2 weeks ago

What a wonderful temptation

What a wonderful temptation to young inquiring minds, Mary.
This is where it begins, an interest in poetry, literature in general.

(Ignore ol' "Iron arse"" above.

Obi.

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

3 months 2 weeks ago

COMMENTS PLEASE. here you go

COMMENTS PLEASE. here you go Mary.

I really enjoyed the atmosphere you’ve created, definitely a nod to Macbeth, and you’ve captured that dark, magical tone nicely. That said, I think the piece would benefit from a clearer sense of purpose. As it stands, it feels a little unfinished, which risks losing the reader’s engagement. Perhaps one more verse to show where the spell is heading or to bring it to a satisfying close? Overall, a great draft with vivid imagery, lots of potential here.

As I've said before, if you make your changes on here, in your poem, it may spark more engagement with others :) Ruby xx