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Within Green Silent Shadows

Down within green silent shadows
of forested ravines carved deep
between the windswept sleeping dunes
that lie along the empty shore

Is where my God is found,
revealed deep down where march
of living trees conceals
all tales of modern life,

For the God I know eschews the
brick and mortar mortal men lay
down upon Her earthen flesh to
cover truth with lifeless versions
of their own.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

More from this author

Comments

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

Rosina

Thanks for reading and enjoying.
I believe that all of us need something or another beyond the mundane physical reality of our daily lives, something that takes out out of the ordinary and reminds us of those deeper levels of meaning.
The Indiana Dunes are that, for me.
Thanks again Rosina,

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

shadows

I wrote a poem "MY CHURCH ". It took me 9 verses to say what you just put in 3 verses. I applaud you........scribbler

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

Thanks Scribbler,

You should have seen the one I had, "The Church", on the old site: man, talk about LONG WINDED! lol.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

Jayne,

No, don't alter it, I would like to see it as is, please?
because,
You know what they say about Great Minds...

;)

Victorclaude

Victorclaude

14 years 7 months ago

"For the God I know eschews

"For the God I know eschews the
brick and mortar mortal men lay
down upon Her earthen flesh to
cover truth with lifeless versions
of their own."

Amen~!

Victor

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

:)

Thank you Victor, much appreciated.

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

14 years 7 months ago

LOL

I can always count on you for those silly little bits of laughter that are so damned deep that I'd miss them if I didn't thouroughly ponder!

If She said women,
the whole world
would be a temple;

She should speak!

heehee

Thanks Anna.