judyanne

Jun 13, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

within the shock of sudden loss

frozen slivers pierce your mind
a void appears, suspended time

reality can truly bend and twist

silence drops, a great abyss
as somewhere, far away, there slams a door
for he who was and breathed, now is no more

potential pathways forever sealed
and what remains are fragments left by dreams

in this, the place of hard knock revelation
where sudden loss will tattoo lasting scars
know grief's a journey, not a destination
and mountains, sometime, roll on into stars.
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

raj

10 years 1 month ago

the feelings and sentiments

the feelings and sentiments of profound loss expressed very vividly....i hope i did read this piece well enough...

Regards,

alidzain

10 years 1 month ago

great

display of emotion. Here's my try.

If I can have a choice
I wish to hear your voice ,
and see you smile again
the simple joy, a refrain

Alid

Sparrow

10 years 1 month ago

Judy

Grief, a time to feel loss, and to gather all the things that we do, to try and equate our being when someone has gone before.
It is a healing process, though it never feels that way, as it happens from anger to sorrow and all bunched in an emotional train wreck.
Lovely write and I hope that the tears though still there are healing tears and not those of anguish..
Take care and know we are here always,
Yours Ian..

judyanne

10 years ago

thanks Raj, Alid and Ian

A friend lost her son last week in a car accident....
inspired this, but I'm not that happy with it ... I'm hoping for some suggestions...
love judy
xxx

raj

10 years ago

sorry to know about the loss

sorry to know about the loss of the son of your friend...may his soul remain in eternal peace..no wonder your sensitive humane nature was inspired to write...will look out for the improvisations you would be making..

Regards,

lovedly

10 years ago

any loss is painful... though I only lost my old car

any loss is painful...
though I only lost my old car

but grieve only for a while
as the departed had no choice
why linger about it any more
as the ones who come
will go away for sure
neither you nor I shall remain forever
tis known since ever

so grieve for a while and shed all tears
then move on as usual without fears