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Within the threescore and six orbitz that span my lifetime...
the impact of current
Fourth Industrial Revolution (4IR),
also known as Industry 4.0 revolution
characterized by the fusion of technologies
and explosion of computer sophistication
like artificial intelligence, robotics,
the Internet of Things, and biotechnology,
blurring the lines between the physical,
digital, and biological spheres appellation
follows the First, Second, and Third
Industrial Revolutions,
which focused on mechanization,
mass production, and digitization, respectively
boggles the mindscape of one baby boomer.
Instead of playing
with tinker toys and log cabins
self taught brilliant boys and girls
skipped traditional school altogether
and ironically enough
learned adults
the mind boggling concepts
that jump/kick started quantum leap
into uncharted byte size territory
crafting futuristic outlandish gizmos
sprang from said gifted brains
with their intelligent quotient off the charts
in some instances
genius (of love) whiz kids
who unwittingly set
and established a new benchmark
immediately rendering obsolete
quaint twenty first century
hijacking, n stemming
math and science paradigm
into another dimension,
where insights revealed
manifold eye opening
and jaw dropping
phenomena upending
supposedly established
bedrock cosmological schema
displacing hypotheses
delineating space/time continuum
barely gracing the outer limits
of the twilight zone
awash with dark shadows
insync with haunting spectre
played by Jonathan Frid
introduced to boost the show's ratings
and became a central figure,
known for his 175-year-old age,
search for his lost love,
and struggle with his vampiric nature
signaling the analogous edge of night
synonymous with allegory of the caves
within Plato's Republic
written around 380 BC,
discussing what would happen
if a group of prisoners realized
the world they were watching was a lie
and lampooning their
skewed perceptions at length
according to multiple sources,
the entire timeless text
applicable to modern times
allowing, enabling and providing
thought provoking material
extrapolating relevancy even today
which Socratic dialogue explores justice,
the just city, and the just individual
whereat the dialogue set in Athens,
but the Republic thought
to have been written later,
possibly while Plato was at his Academy.
Odd how scores of years
post attendance at Antioch College
where I enrolled
in a political philosophy class
in retrospect -
cause hindsight
always equals 20/20,
yours truly ought
to have audited said course
(which campus situated
in bucolic Yellow Springs, Ohio -
Glen Helen a noteworthy geological formation)
and initially a major city
and a center of power
in the ancient world
considered part of larger political entities
initially the capital
of the Seleucid Empire
and later became a prominent city
within the Roman Empire.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem ambitiously weaves together historical, technological, and philosophical themes, creating a dense tapestry that challenges the reader to engage deeply. The exploration of the Fourth Industrial Revolution as a transformative force is well-conceived, and the connection to Plato’s Allegory of the Cave adds a rich layer of intellectual inquiry about perception and reality.
However, the poem’s structure and flow could benefit from more deliberate pacing and clarity. The lines often run long and densely packed with information, which can overwhelm the reader and obscure the emotional or thematic core. Consider breaking longer lines into shorter, more rhythmic phrases to enhance readability and impact. This will also allow key images and ideas to resonate more fully.
The transitions between topics—technology, philosophy, personal reflection, and historical geography—feel somewhat abrupt. Introducing clearer thematic or tonal shifts could help guide the reader through these changes more smoothly. For example, using stanza breaks or varied line lengths might signal shifts in focus and give the poem a stronger overall shape.
The use of specific references (Jonathan Frid, Antioch College, Glen Helen) grounds the poem in concrete details, but their significance could be more explicitly connected to the poem’s central concerns. Reflecting on why these details matter to the speaker or how they relate to the broader themes would deepen the poem’s emotional and intellectual resonance.
Finally, the poem’s voice is thoughtful but occasionally slips into a more academic or expository tone. Infusing more personal or sensory language could balance the intellectual content with emotional immediacy, making the poem more accessible and engaging.
In summary, refining the poem’s rhythm and structure, clarifying thematic transitions, and deepening the connection between specific details and overarching ideas would strengthen its impact and coherence.
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