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Feb 15, 2025
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Woken
Fire dragons from the ether within my dreams I am such, for a spell flames
Destruction invades my moral mind
My battle of the night to explain my woken day seeks my mortal mind, what we do in
Life echoes in our silent state, in sleep
Seep towards the expanse of night what it hides divides my woken way from dreamscape where I am imortal until woke
I seek what hides beneath the veil of plenty
That which lurkes between the ground I walk on and the unending expanse of night
I am the master of my own creation whilst
I lean towards the escape of nod where I am epic within my cranium of invention
My woken day could never be this way
For within the light of day I never had my
Way, I yearn for sleep where I'm the master that I seek, eternal until I'm woken.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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ziggy
4 months 1 week ago
This won't get any more than
This won't get any more than one or two comments lol prove me wrong lol
One
4 months 1 week ago
Ziggy
Good morning to you, was nice to wake up this gloomy Sunday morning to read your fine words.
This is written very much in your unique style & that in itself will prevent lots of comments because many readers & commentators are too lazy to get into your words properly & see your emphasis & characteristics; also most are here for their own egos. Had you have called this "I love Jesus" & expressed a love for religion your comments page would be overfilled.
Expect a comment from Cat & possibly Killer (Gee) ... I think you'll get a few more than that! So anyway back to the poem...
... it has a strong, dreamlike quality with vivid imagery & introspection. I like your contrast between the dream world, where you have control, power, & immortality. You visualise a waking world, which feels limiting & restrained. The themes of creation, escape, & the battle between dreams & reality are compelling.
The poem has a strong, almost incantatory rhythm. Some lines are longer & disrupt the flow which adds to the awkwardness that your writing style has & works like a dream!.
Zigs, this is a beautifully atmospheric piece with powerful existential undertones.
Another good job indeed!
regards
One
ziggy
4 months 1 week ago
Hi
Many thanks for the view and comment you really have a gift for reading between the lines to understand a piece I'm not able to do that the way you can so you're comment on my words mean the world to me, cheers bro