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Feb 16, 2023
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Woman Man Lord then God (Edit Seren My Maestro)
One must be born first
to a woman called a mom
then become a man (or woman)
after performing unparalleled deeds
become a Lord
later when gone with the
chilling winds
into darkest forests
researched
goes into oblivion
all who remain behind
brand the one as
God
you could be one
such a one
nonequivalent
so many have been
in mind's memory
still are immortally living
name them will ye
you know em all
who are now
since aeons
Living Eternal Gods
.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 4 months ago
Everyone
Is the god of their own universe. Sometimes they touch each other.
Cool
Tim
lovedly
2 years 4 months ago
GRATEFUL thanks
Dear Tim ...your comments raise my morale as a NEO
Kindness
Poets Hand
2 years 4 months ago
Dear Lovedly
What an impressive thought. This reminds me of ancient Greek or Roman mythology and how men were made into gods in those days. What is it to be mortal and what do we build that is immortal?
This is a great thought provoking poem.
Thank you for sharing it with me.
Poets Hand
Hannah
lovedly
2 years 4 months ago
PH Kindness
for your appreciationay
hurray
Leslie
2 years 4 months ago
MAN WOMAN LORD then GOD
BEAUTIFUL AND DELICATE. I WISH THAT EVERYONE KNEW WHO AND WHAT THEY WERE AND SPOKE ONE
WITH ANOTHER WITH THE SAME CONSIDERATE SOFTNESS. BLESS YOU FOR YOUR WISDOM!
Leslie
2 years 4 months ago
WOMAN MAN LORD then GOD
SUCH A FRESH IDEA, I WISH EVERYONE KNEW WHO THEY REALLY WERE AND COMMUNICATED WITH THAT SAME RESPECT. I LOVED IT, SIMPLE YET JUST AS TRUE AS THE DAY AN INFANT COMES TO US. FRAGILE, YES DELICATE IN ITS BEAUTY. GREAT JOB AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR GIFT OF WISDOM.
lovedly
2 years 4 months ago
Yes I know
All CAPS are appreciating
not shouting
Thanks for your maiden visit
Seren
2 years 4 months ago
Dear Love
I am a mere serf among gods,
I have suggestions the capitalised words should be written in lower case, it's like you're randomly yelling. That's just my opinion. But I think your poem would have more impact if you didn't yell
LORD, LIVING ETERNAL G O D S
Why did you put spaces between the letters of the word GODS G O D S
I think it's a deep poem and I am so pleased and thank the weird elf God that you're really making an effort.
The Weird Elf would be so proud of your growth
Love and hugs Sis xox
Seren
2 years 4 months ago
Much better imo.
Much better imo.
Hugs and love Sis xox
lovedly
2 years 4 months ago
Thanks
When I go I will take a copy for Jess
you autograph it for me please
My maestro
Seren
lovedly
2 years 4 months ago
This one link and read
rgds