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Feb 09, 2012
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Word Machine
It's when I'm dead tired,
it's when I'm up at one in the morning,
It's when my eyes are bloodshot,
It's when the ink of the paper bleeds onto my hands,
It's when the world has gone dead silent,
That I am the best poet I could ever be,
So lets stay up one last time,
And lets kick ass.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I can't explain what I'm feeling right now, but all I can say is that I am indestructible.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Nichole
13 years 5 months ago
Nice!
You asked me to read this and I like it alot actually. I think it would be better without the last line though.
"lets kick ass" rest of it is great. and that's when I too write my best works.
weirdelf
13 years 5 months ago
try again
It's when I'm dead tired,
when I'm up at one in the morning,
my eyes are bloodshot,
the ink of the paper bleeds onto my hands,
It's when the world has gone dead silent
See? The repetition can be reduced.
I hope this helps.
i hope you don't
loved
13 years 5 months ago
one must be
one must be
an owl ,like me
to compose poetry
at night ,
when the world sleeps
there is silence
and with in me
comes alive
wisdom